i love halloween. not that im big into holiday celebration but rather its the only holiday where women feel the need to out-skank each other by wearing the sluttiest costumes they can find. know any girls youve always wanted to see naked grinding on other naked women? find that girl on halloween and ill bet her outfit wont leave much to the imagination. add in a healthy dose of alcohol among similarly attired skeezy ladies and, BAM, instant lesbo action.

this year i decided to throw a halloween party. the timing was perfect because i just moved but i still have a month left on the lease at my old house. my old, empty house. you see where im going here right? no amount of beer chugging, stripper pole grinding, load blowing, alcoholic, sexy hot action would be too much. not my house anymore right? so i put together what i hoped would be an awesome halloween party armed with 2 full kegs, a jager dispenser, and enough hard alcohol to give a moose cirrhosis. i procured myself a black and cheetah skin veluer liesure suit, a jheri curl wig, and a big pair of rhinestone sunglasses that only lady gaga would wear and donned my new persona as an 80s pimp. despite the constant groping and ass smacking i perpetrated on the female masses that night, most people mistook my costume for a jewish pornstar. my jheri curl must have looked more like a jew fro i guess.

i live right next to a college so it wasnt hard for to get more people to come than my friends and i had already invited. getting the scantily clad ladies to party was as easy as standing on the sidewalk in front of the house and recruiting. all was going well and i decided to break out the stripper pole. all the sudden every girl in the party was a well seasoned lady of the pole. it became a competition of who could dry fuck the stripper pole in the dirtiest way possible. by this time the girl to guy ratio was around 2 to 1 so good times were being had by all.

i, true to form, made it my mission to get every female in the party as drunk as possible so i fed them jello shooters galore. one girl in particular in a slutty mad hatter outfit was lovin on my jello shooters. she got so drunk she let my cousin fuck her in the ass in the bathroom with her costume still on. being as it was his birthday and i got her drunk, i claim that as his b day gift from me. i didnt have the heart to tell her he just turned 17. i only hope that the shots i fed her are reason enough to assuage the guilt of taking it in the pooper from a guy she just met while wearing a mad hatter costume.

the party continued until sunup and all told, we probably had 75 to maybe 100 people. the cleanup was a nightmare as the driveway was littered in cigarette butts and the bathroom floor was sticky with (what i hope to god) was spilled drinks. all in all, it was a good party. we had a great time and none of my stuff got broke, stolen, thrown up on, and noone had sex in my bed. cant wait til next year...