I'm gonna kill myself
Hey guys I am gonna kill myself. Life is such shit. My mom found me in a dumpster and my wife yelled at me because I wouldn't go learn how to mariachi dance. This last blog of mine better be some brilliant mark twain bullshit because it will be my last. But it won't its gonna fucking suck.
I decided I am going to hang myself with christmas lights while I go help my dad with the lights on the house. I figured hanging myself with christmas lights would be kind of festive. You know the birth of Christ, death of me. It may make all of the children happy. I know it will make you guys happy and that makes me cry a little more while I write this.
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I just cant take it anymore.
Plus I had four bowls of chili so if my boweles release when I break my neck I will shit massive.
But I had this angel come sown and show me how cool shit would be with me dead. Somehow the butterfly effect would end the recession and all global strife and it would turn the world into a free utopia where nothing ever went wrong. Every need fulfilled with even death itself cured. He referred to me as gods only mistake.
Well that kind of pissed me off and made me cry some more. So after some cutting myself and spooning my cat I decided it was time to do the deed.
Like ACDC or some shit.
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