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# Everything SUCKS

Anyone who used to read my blogs knows that I pretty much hate everything because if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that pretty much everything sucks!

Soccer sucks. Living in Seattle I watched the MLS championship game tonight. The MLS championship (LA vs. Salt Lake City) was held in Seattle. The MLS championship game is like the Superbowl of soccer but unless you live in Salt lake City, LA, or Seattle you wouldn't know that because soccer sucks.

The game was tied at a phenomenal score of 1-1 after 90 minutes of regulation play. In soccer the time starts at zero and runs UP to 90 minutes. WTF? Excitement, be it a NASA launch, a ticking time bomb, a microwaved baked potato, or any NORMAL FUCKING SPORTS GAME is built by the countDOWN.

You know... 5...4...3...2...AND THE CROWD GOES CRAZY!!!!

Not soccer. Soccer is not sucky enough in and of itself so to make it suck more they run the timer from zero to 90 minutes. If a football game has a time remaining of 2:15 you know that in 2 minutes, 15 seconds of play, the game is over. If a soccer game timer says 87:45 it means I have to do math to find out how much time is left. That hurts my head.

Well, if a soccer game ends in a tie they do a series of 'penalty kicks' to determine a winner. That is, players from each team take turns trying to kick goals against the opposing goalie 1-on-1 for 5 shots apiece. Blah, Blah, Blah... jack off...blah, blah, blah. To me that's like deciding a tied boxing match with a good game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

There's kind of more to it than that but who gives a fuck? To me it negates the whole game. Why even play the original 90 minutes? Why not just do the KIck-A-Goal competition and call it good? God DAMN! Everything sucks. Soccer sucks.

I would have been better off watching the Clevland Show on FOX but I didn't... because... like everything else...it SUCKS!!!

ugdork
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