The Diary of a Professional Pie Eater
So Tyaeda and I went to the 2010 World Pie Eating Contest. I can still remember my little chicken wing coaching me.....she can be real tough!
ONLY 75 PIES IN A MINUTE?? DO YOU WANNA WIN THIS THING OR NOT??
EAT FASTER DAMMIT!
YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ON A HUNGER STRIKE!
CHEWING WASTES VALUABLE TIME!!!!!!!
But I know she only did it out of love. This year's prize was the the best ever; $1,000,000 and free pie and ice cream for life! I looked around and checked out the comptition.
Big Hungry Joe: Rumour has it he can debone a chicken from across the room.
Tripple Chin Tina: The only person I know who can actually hear pudding
Jabba The Hut Jerry: He once went to a seven eleven and drank all the slurpee machines dry (a feat that I am envious of)
Vlad the Inhaler: he single handedly kept a candy shop from going under, and from what I hear, he's pretty much putting the owner's kids through college.
Bubba Bo Blob: Claims he's the reason McDonalds can use the slogan "billions and billions served"
"The Cow": Nobody knows his real name, but what we do know is he had 3 additional stomachs surgically implanted
And the biggest competition of all
Big Bertha: 1150lbs of trouble! She just got out of jail for eating every box of girl scout cookies in Ontario and then every girl scout troop so she wouldn't have to pay. She claimed self defense, so her sentence was shortened.
The Competition was stiffer than my cock when I see an order of XXL poutine, but failure was not an option!
To Be Continued....