Bau the Homo.
(This is yet another one of my hippy blogs... if you don't agree with me, fine.. just don't hate me for it)
Ever do something really crazy? You know, something that goes against all of your instincts just for the sake of doing it? I have, and it was quite the trip.
A few years ago while at the trailer park - where at the time it was my weekend getaway, I was hanging out with a few friends when my ex and I met Bau. Bau is quite the character.
I'm no homophobe or hater, but the very best way to describe this "guys" personality is "scream-in-excitement, totally flamboyant - gay". Sometimes I had no choice but to look at him with a total and utter dumb-founded look on my face - he was that gay.
Bau came to the trailer park to speak with a friend of mine, who his mother knew. He had been kicked out of everywhere he'd ever lived and was really going through some really tough times. He needed a place to stay. My friend offered no help to him, but he stuck around just to have a good time. It was then that my ex fiance realized that he knew him from somewhere... his father confirmed that as kids they used to go to boy scouts together (my ex's father was the scout leader or whatever). Bau was as homeless as they get.. he spent his days walking around exhausting all of his ties with people he knew. He slept in parks, and ate very little.
Now for some reason that I have yet to comprehend, I went against all of my instincts and offered him my home to stay until he got back onto his feet. He didn't ask, or hint.. we were actually just acting like we were - a few people who just met at a get together. Needless to say he was ecstatic! At the time, we didn't have much money ourselves, and were barely getting by on our own... but for some reason I just couldn't allow him to continue living like he was. I was very nervous at the beginning. You know I had all the reason not to go and trust this guy, and I didn't know him nearly enough to start then.
When we got back to my place he slapped $100 cash on the table as an offering in thanks and told us that there was more coming soon. This was really all too surreal for all 3 of us. But I was willing to give it a shot. I was pretty terrified that he was going to steal from us, or fuck us over one way or another. I wanted to know why he hadn't been able to establish roots somewhere for so long, and if I was just the next victim of this gypsy adventure.
The first few days were odd to say the least. My parents for one flipped the fuck out. They caught wind that I had taken in a stranger through my friend who had declined Bau of her hospitality. During that ordeal, I heard a lot of gossip about him and his past. His mother was probably as crazy as they come.. she often abandoned and rekindled relationships with all of her children countless times in the pursuit of something selfish like a boyfriend or money for her prescription pill problem. Every time that I went back to the trailer park my friends would ask, with raised eye brows "Hows it going with Bau?" . I really felt as if I was missing something.. because Bau was great.
During the first few days, Bau didn't quite make himself at home. He felt obliged to cook and clean for us... and even asked permission to take a shower. We shared everything but our bed with him, but every time I offered him something he either declined or asked "are you sure?". He was very polite, clean, funny, and not as nearly as bad as people put him out to be. It turned out that the last place he lived at, they didn't let him shower in their home, insisted that he cleaned their house, and that he was kicked out simply because one of the guys who lived there didn't feel comfortable around him and his outward gayness.... and then there was Kim.
NICEST LADY IN THE WORLD! Kim was also Bau's godmother. She wanted to take him in herself, but her boyfriend hated Baus guts and even threatened to kill him a few times again because he's gay. She told me that Bau had received inheritance from his grandfather passing, and that he spent nearly all of it on friends, and having a good time... it must have been a pretty good time, because with his inheritance he could have bought a house. Once the money dried up, no one wanted anything to do with Bau anymore.. his family hated him for wasting that money, and were not willing to help him in any way. Kim had a bit of a pill problem herself, but you could tell just by looking at her that she was in fact a chronic pain patient and needed the meds - the lady had a hard time walking at the age of 40 ffs. Her boyfriend was abusive, but she depended on him for shelter and financial support. Despite her hard life, she was by far the nicest lady I've ever met. She cried in my arms thanking me for helping Bau, and giving him the chance that so many people had denied him in the past. She called me a God-sent guardian angel, a person of utmost kindness and an answer to her prayers. She would come over from time to time to hang out, and whenever Bau needed a ride somewhere.
This was actually turning out to be a good experience, and I then lost most of my fears of making a mistake. This guy was more in touch with his feminine side than I was. He cut my hair, gave me some make up tips, and reminded me that I was in fact a proud owner of a vagina. We would do girlie things like drooling over male models and gay pornstars. We took walks together, hung out, and became really good friends.. we did pretty much everything together that my ex couldn't be bothered with.. like taking walks, cleaning, and spending quality time together. We even went as far as teaming up on my boyfriend to bitch about his laziness. Lot's of fun. We even sometimes talked about some of my favourite musical artists, and some of the things he knew about them like "did you know so and so smokes like an ounce of weed before she sings in order to relax her voice?" or "did you know that Tool uses universal mathematics to write their music, which is part of the reason they sound different yet sound the same?" stuff like that.
Bau also introduced me to spiritual existence. Of course at the beginning I wanted nothing to do with it, but he was a Buddhist and that religion interested me - although I didn't know much about it. I learned about karma, chakras, and life force energy. I learned about the golden mean, and the law of attraction. Some of it made sense, and he made a bit of a believer out of me. In fact I credit these teachings to the reason why I am the way I am today, and not the pessimistic hater that I once was. He told me how he was a prime example of the law of attraction, and that karma works. He spent all of his money foolishly and selfishly, and took a major loss because of it. On the other hand, he walked for 4 hours to get to that trailer park on the night that we took him in. He had no idea that he was going to meet us, and that he would end up staying with nearly complete strangers, but it happened, and he says it's because he hadn't given up hope and all trust in humanity. Some could even say it was the reason I went against my instincts and took him in. Like it wasn't that I hadn't been wronged before, because I have. I've been stolen from, sexually assaulted, and really had no reason to trust anyone, especially people I didn't know. I valued my privacy above most other things, and knew very well that we did not have the means to support Bau, but there I was trusting him, allowing him to stay in my home - decreasing my privacy, I fed him, supported both of his smoking habits, and I do not regret a single day of it.
Bau stayed with us for a month. Before he left he gave us a second installment of gratitude in the form of another $100. Of course it cost us more than $200 to support him that month, but really I wasn't expecting anything back. Last I heard, he moved to Alberta... I don't know why, or how, or even if he went, or how he's doing now wherever he is... I just hope he's doing ok. Would I do anything differently if given the chance to go back? No. Despite friends looking down on me, and my own instincts trying to hold me back, I went against that, and the result was an experience I will never forget, and a life long friend who will always be thankful for my kindness.
I just thought I'd share that. I'm wondering if anyone else here has done anything similar and how that impacted their lives.