The Miseducation of Porn
Fed up on obama and the spill, I wrote this in the memory of the late mr.webb...may your soul rest in peace.
I was never a big porn fan. Just occasionaly (...) jerked off to some old VHS tapes when I was just a puber, with classics like "ginger on the rocks" which was about a maniquin that came to life, or some other 80's crap; not very good quality, but it did the job alright. Then I got lucky enough to get laid in sophomore, big personal break; then I jerked off to real memories! Wich was very cool at the moment, in my teenager mind. I would actually fantasied about doing this or that to my then gf, then actually do it. Very cool indeed. I forgot about porn. Then came the real breakthrough: internet porn. I remember the first porn site I looked at was sex in the box, then I became hooked cuz of the variety of the pics and clips.
That was a different world altogether, no more crappy tapes, no more ginger. No more anything for that matter, I became a steady visitor, my gf sensed that I was getting weird, asking her all kind of positions we never done before, then she broke with meand I entered a very dangerous zone: the no-sex-for-a-long-time zone, aka the lay drought . That shit is dangerous, because its when youre more vulnerable to get hooked on porn, and feel complete with itand begin to feel stronger in one arm, just like a fucking tennis player. I watched tons of pron, lesbian cybersex, sammiches, tea baggings, h/c, brutal stuff.
So, this went on for some months, then came the big day: an actual date, with an ok chick, I mean this girl was decent, real cute and all. So, I still remember the mating rituals: calling her on the phone, arranging a cool night out, paying for some beers, being sensitive (really?? I would love to hear about ur cup cake poodle).etc. Then, back to my house, which was folks alone, some more beer at the kitchen, then straight to my room.
Heres where the disconnection with reality really takes its toll. A very big percentage of girls dont like it that rough, nor being dick slapped, nor being jizzed on, nor being screwed by a human jack hammer, nor being treated like a complete whore. Of course, there are exceptions, but this time wasnt it. It was like wtf are you doing? what do you mean wtf im doing? go fuck yourself! Im not a slut, waaa..that was the end of it. I apologized, blamed it on the alcohol, but the real reason was the miseducation of porn. Yes dear ladies and gents, PORN MISEDUCTAES! BEWARE!!! Eventualy, I saw the whole thing was worthless. I stoped staring at the screen, went out more, I had another date and played it cool, made sweet sweet love, with just a pinch of hardcoreness. And everything went on fine.
Have a nice day.