The bad gentleman, put some powder in his knickers and shuffled through security. Once in his seat the bad gentleman watched a film. It was the one about Edith Piaf, it was a bad film. But he couldn't really get into it because it had subtitles and because he kept thinking about the fact he had to blow his dick up.

Then he speculated how angry the gaffer would be if he came home without a plane load of exploded westerners. In the end he made a half hearted attempt to make the plane go bang, but he screamed when his balls caught fire. The brave westerners jumped on him and twisted his arms behind his back and extinguished his privates.

Well when he landed, everyone treated him like shit and it was excruciating when he did a piss. It felt like ripe plumb.

That was the big Christmas one, the Christmas story.