Why I'M hot!
All you insecure haters gettin' up in my grill saying that I'm ugly when you know I'm not! You all know you want some of THIS! Because if I say I'm hot, then I AM hot to you too! And I'll tell you why!
1. One of my boobs is a couple cups bigger than the other. But it's okay! Because some men like small boobs, and others like big ones. So whichever man I'm with, I just turn to the side to make him like me.
2. I onced called a girl hot. This means I'm bisexual.
3. I'm 110lbs and all of it is in my ass. I know my ass is fat, but my fiance loves me anyways.
4. I have to constantly remind people that I'm hot, whether they have seen me in reality or not. This makes people respect and love me, and call me hot like I deserve.
5. I suck up food stamps and cash assistance from the government. Not because I need it and I can't hold a job, but they give it to me because I'm hot!
I could write hundreds more different reasons why I'm hot, but I must go fix up a snack (to be exact, I'm having some chicken flavored Ramen noodles, a pint of chocolate fudge ice cream, a bag of pork grinds, and a big bottle of egg nog...helps my figure!) and watch some Twilight.
Please love me.