I'm Doug Stanhope and that's why I drink!

Sometimes the American news is like a tired old whore that only tells you what you want to hear. You watch stories everyday about the environment and global warming and they give you a thousand cute little tips on things you can do to help Mother Earth. When the obvious problem is over population. That never comes up ever, even Al Gore has to pressed on the issue to even admit it is a problem. He'll go, " yea,yea overpopulation is a problem, but that will correct itself ". By 2050 I guess he says fucking will go out of style. It's just a passing fad this desire to procreate.

The news knows you don't want to hear that. The news has no problem telling you how to cut up your six pack holder before you throw them away so you don't strangle a dolphin when all that shit gets flushed out to sea. And that's fine, and turn off the water when you brush your teeth and you say. "oh I can do that".

They can't say don't fuck in the front hole, because that glut of humanity you are creating is the real problem. Nobody wants to hear don't fuck in the front hole after a hard day at work.

An Oregon State study shows that a woman that recycles at her optimum will increase her carbon footprint forty times by just having two children. The next time you see a hybrid car with a baby seat in the back, smash the windows out of that car fight club style, steal the baby seat, leave a condom where the baby seat sat and see if you send a message, because that is every sanctimonious douche bag that pretends to be the solution, when they are the exact problem that they are pretending to be fighting against.

Your combined uteri  wreak more havoc to the environment ,than a thousand Dow Chemical plant accidents combined. If you don't have the baby you can drive an entire fleet of Hummers to and from work everyday, hanging your ass out the window farting Styrofoam packing peanuts into the atmosphere and not cause half the damage that one stupid baby causes to this planet.

If you want to help Mother Earth, try sodomy. Sodomy is Eco friendly and abortion is Green!