My rich uncle went to Tibet in search of enlightenment. He asked a monk if he could help him find enlightenment. The monk agreed but told my uncle he had to not speak for 5 years. My uncle agreed and didn't speak for 5 years.
At the end of the 5th year, the Monk asked him to say something. My uncle said his bed was hard. No, no said the monk you have not reached enlightenment, you must be silent for five more years, to which my uncle agreed.
At the end of 5 more years my uncle was asked to speak again. My uncle said the food was bad. No no said the monk, you have not reached enlightenment. You must be silent 5 more years.
5 more years had passed and the monk asked my uncle to speak. My uncle said this is crazy I'll never learn enlightenment like this. I'm leaving. The old monk looked at him and said, "that's OK with me, because all you do is bitch"! True Story.