Floppy Dongs Tattered Dreams
Hey, godammit. I am a compulsive masturbator. I mean, I touch my penis like it's my job. Know why? I formed the habit back in middle school becuase I wanted to go into training and be ready to have sex with a girl (yeah, I know, amirite lol) and not bust my testicle tar in the first 30 seconds. So. I would rub my shlong like I hated it, furious to gain endurance and semen stamina. And gain it I did. Now, married (to a woman, I know it's weird) I learned one important thing. The vagina is soft and squishy. My bare palm is calloused and hard. I built up such endurance that I can have sex for an hour and beyond, which my wife fucking hates because her vagina gets sore not from size. Oh, not from size at all. But from the sheer amount of times I ram my meaty curtian rod out the window and into the neighbor's yard. So, now I'm fucking stuck. I'm addicted to masturbation and pronography, like a fuckign meth head, but sometimes, sex takes too long. Those filthy whore cunts that want to fuck for an hour lie. Don't beleive them. And make sure you blow your fucking load in thier asshole when they least expect it. Oh, and it's not always the guy's responsibility to get condoms, which complicate my situation even fucking more. Don't whack without lube, or you'll get a scarred, friction burned, chunk of meat rebar hanging comfortably on a pair of exhausted testicles.