I'm fucking sick and tired of addictions. I am, really. I am addicted. Two things, first the milder. Energy drinks. Oh my God, whenever I see them, the monkey starts gnawin' at the back of my neck. It's not the flavor (really?) it's the rush. It's not just a rush, it's the whole feeling. I drink them on an empty stomach only, so I can absorb it quickly. When I chug the first half of a 32 oz can of Monster (my favorite, the Lo-Crab, I mean Carb version) I am FLODDED with rage and adrenaline. Sometimes, I have so much energy, I scream in fury just to get rid of some. I love the way they make me feel, and the way my heart begs for mercy as I force it to pump blood. If I have a heart attack, it is because my heart is weak, and my death with be deserved. The other, is food. One of the worst addictions on the planet. No, no, no. Hear me out. Think about hardcore drugs, like heroin, cocaine, and nicotine. Okay. Now. Think about what they do for the body. Nothing. Our body doesn't need these substance, they are introduced. Once your body gets used to not having them present in your system, you're right as rain so long as you avoid your poison of choice for the rest of your life. Avoidance to prevent dependence. Think about food. You're addicted to it, like I am. The flavors, the textures, the smells, the LUST of food. You're starving, and all you can think about it eating, eating until you're so full you hate yourself, but it tastes so GOOD, so FUCKING GOOD. Well, you're addicted now. Completely. So I ask you. How do you stop cold turkey, pun intended? You can't. You're body NEEDS food. Doesn't need coke, heroin, alcohol, nicotine, etc, you're body needs food, so you have to learn to manage your fucking addiction because if you avoid food alltogether, you DIE! There is no methadone, there are no drugs to ween you off of food and then you can finally say, "I've been clean from eating for a whole year!" NO! You'll be dead in a couple of weeks! What a twisted nail of cruel irony! There is no patch! No drug! Nothing! You have to feed you're addiction becuase you will die if you stop no matter what you do. It's bullshit. But, it is what it is.
Fucked up, huh?