Mama and daddy are angry. There son is off the chain, fresher and cleaner than a mug, and they just can't accept it. They overlook the completely rational and logic idea that somehow, someway, they have passed the negro gene unto their offspring, similar to the rare occurence of an African-American couple producing an albino (white devil) child. Although my brother and sister weren't fortunate enough to receive the "G" gene, I am living proof that this inheritant trait, does indeed exist.

      If you were to browse through my childhood photo album, you may notice that I either; A.) I hadn't yet fully grew into my adult "G" gene characteristics. B.) I was duped, and shown photography of a similar looking young (white) boy, as a part of a conspiracy to fool me into thinking I'm not a soul brother. C.) I was adopted, and all of those pictures were photo shopped. My facial features were super imposed onto a lighter skinded counter part, of a comparible size and stature.

     There's no doubt about it. Nevermind what mama, daddy, brother, sister, and the rest of the family think, I've got a full blown case of the jiggaboo's. (I can say that because I'm black) If you don't believe me check my credit score. Watch me as I attempt to flag down a cab. It never works! Needless to mention, a nigga like me is just straight-up fresh as a mo' fucka. I'd say that's all the evidence you really need. And if that doesn't convince your bitch ass, my favorite foods are chiterlings and collard greens.

     Peep the jersey my niggas. That's right, it's a throwback. I went to the beach on a family vacation last year, wearing my jersey. I called it "jersey shore." I swear to god I did. Thug life 4 life. One time I made a make-shift marijuana smoking device from an old cellular phone, and I called it "stem cell research." And who was the service provider for the phone you ask? That's right... It was pre-paid. Take that, you hoes. This is thuggery at its finest.

                                                                                                                                 Your's Truly,

                                                                                                                                  Stuey Ooey