Chinese Snow White - The Communist Version
MrsNekoJeans
Published
02/17/2011
If you liked the fascinating story of the beautiful princess living with the 7 dwarves, prepare to get your childhood memories raped - here's the Chinese version.
Snow White was a beautiful girl with very fair skin. You'd think that she's a princess.
But Snow White was a normal, equal citizen like all of us. She lived in a little forest hut and, despite her young age, she already broke a lot of hearts.
Snow White wasn't a player. No, no. She was a kind soul, brought up by seven hard working members of the proletariat.
The tyrant's wife was a great beauty, but couldn't match the fair-skinned girl's looks. She had a magic mirror that kept reminding her every day that she's not the prettiest woman in the land anymore.
The mirror was also full of advice. It advised the woman to use deceit and gain Snow White's trust.
If she poisons the girl's food, the hard working men that keep her safe wouldn't even know what hit her.
The oppressor's wife had a much more satisfying solution in mind...
But the wise mirror strongly opposed her idea, calling her an idiot.
She took one of the genetically modified apples her husband imported from America and poisoned it.
Disguising herself as a travelling merchant, she offered to sell the apple to Snow White at half price. The smart men strongly refused to pay the lady and quoted Marx: "Political economy came into being as a natural result of the expansion of trade, and with its appearance elementary, unscientific huckstering was replaced by a developed system of licensed fraud, an entire science of enrichment."
The tyrant's wife agreed to give the apple for free, as a gift. The hard working men knew better to accept imported goods. "People like you are causing our country's economics fall" one of them said and asked the woman to leave.
But Snow White was too young to see through capitalist deceits. She wanted to taste the big, shiny apple and thanked the travelling merchant for her kind gift. "I'm sorry, but we must do this for your own good" one of the men said and the 7 brave proletarians gave the Snow White a lesson, so that she remembers not to take anything from suspicious outsiders. It wasn't easy for them, but it was for their friend's own good that she learns this lesson the hard way.
Trying to act on your own usually ends badly. This is why sometimes you need to be punished for your own good. The authorities protect you from evil influence of the oppressors and save your life. The authorities give you a happy life because they care for you.
Snow White was a beautiful girl with very fair skin. You'd think that she's a princess.
But Snow White was a normal, equal citizen like all of us. She lived in a little forest hut and, despite her young age, she already broke a lot of hearts.
Snow White wasn't a player. No, no. She was a kind soul, brought up by seven hard working members of the proletariat.
The tyrant's wife was a great beauty, but couldn't match the fair-skinned girl's looks. She had a magic mirror that kept reminding her every day that she's not the prettiest woman in the land anymore.
The mirror was also full of advice. It advised the woman to use deceit and gain Snow White's trust.
If she poisons the girl's food, the hard working men that keep her safe wouldn't even know what hit her.
The oppressor's wife had a much more satisfying solution in mind...
But the wise mirror strongly opposed her idea, calling her an idiot.
She took one of the genetically modified apples her husband imported from America and poisoned it.
Disguising herself as a travelling merchant, she offered to sell the apple to Snow White at half price. The smart men strongly refused to pay the lady and quoted Marx: "Political economy came into being as a natural result of the expansion of trade, and with its appearance elementary, unscientific huckstering was replaced by a developed system of licensed fraud, an entire science of enrichment."
The tyrant's wife agreed to give the apple for free, as a gift. The hard working men knew better to accept imported goods. "People like you are causing our country's economics fall" one of them said and asked the woman to leave.
But Snow White was too young to see through capitalist deceits. She wanted to taste the big, shiny apple and thanked the travelling merchant for her kind gift. "I'm sorry, but we must do this for your own good" one of the men said and the 7 brave proletarians gave the Snow White a lesson, so that she remembers not to take anything from suspicious outsiders. It wasn't easy for them, but it was for their friend's own good that she learns this lesson the hard way.
Trying to act on your own usually ends badly. This is why sometimes you need to be punished for your own good. The authorities protect you from evil influence of the oppressors and save your life. The authorities give you a happy life because they care for you.
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