I squatted on the cold shitter seat and for lack of magazines I began to read graffiti. "I am a void, deep within your conscious. Listen to my words for they will lead you to my reality." Boring. Wheres the poop jokes? "What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dictator." Hilarious. I laughed so hard. Then a pause of embarrassment. I listened but there was no one else.
I looked at Swazis and art when the door slammed open. I heard some passionate smoochin. They were so deep down each others throats they didnt notice the occupied stall, Im guessing. "Oh God, fuck me on the sinks!" I heard the auto-taps turn on and sure as Shirley they got freaky right on the counter top. When they finished I heard a long awkward pause. "Whos in there?!" I jumped as the man pounded on the stall door. "Don't mind me, I'm only the plumber." I cringed, why did I say that. "Fuck it baby, lets just go." "Fucking perv." They left and I wiped some sweat off my face. Not from fear but from pushing so hard.
Dammit let me shit in peace. I read some more graffiti and as I finished pushin' a mean tater out I saw for a good time call 992-3341. I chuckled and finished up. Checked my watch and I already missed the meeting. Well, I was going to be fired this time. It was my last warning. I dialed 992-3341. A gruff voice answered. "Hey, I'm calling about the good time? Yes the bathroom. Okay, Ill be here." Well, me and the nice man went out for ice cream, sailed a boat and went para-sailing. It was one helluva good time.