I cannot find my goddamn keys. I am beyond pissed off; I can't even think straight. I know my fiance has a spare and he's coming home soon but I want to find my FUCKING KEYS! I've turned the whole place upside down looking for these fuckers! They aren't in my car, they are under the fridge, or stove, or in the laundry room. They aren't in the fucking house. I swear to God, I feel like I have a ghost here that takes my shit. Why do I even fucking bother?! What if I had to work today?! I'm fucked, that's what. Why can't ANY of my shit be where it's supposed to? Everyone and everything has to fuck with my stuff. Leave it alone! I haven't been this pissed in a while. I want to tell work to "fuck off" for the whole week. I'm supposed to go out with my grandma for her 80th birthday because I can get 25% off the whole bill. I want to check on my father who just had surgery and most importantly, I need to get to the fucking bank so I can pay my electric bill and my cable bill! I just KNOW one of my fucking cats had to smack it under something. Little fuckers. WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KEYS?!

Well, I guess I'm fucked either way so that's why I'm writing this. God, I am losing my fucking mind.