The theory and practice of profanity
Our new friend, the transforming Kenny killer, blogged earlier about how the word "FUCK" has lost some of its pizzazz. It's true. But that's not fuck's fault. Like everything else, it's lazy fucking people to blame.
From my response to the original blog:
I'm considered somewhat expert at profanity
among people society considers profane. I
think excessive use of profanity shows a lack
of vocabulary. I think if you're going to use
profanity, it should be the perfect word for
the situation. I've found that using profane
and semi-profane words in unexpected
combinations is highly effective.
In a confrontational situation, I've had a high degree of success in agitating people with the term Dribble Dick. As in "Hey, Dribble Dick, you just going to flick your ashes on the carpet?" The words are not exactly profane, but used in combination, they get the message across. You know you've got a good combination when you can reverse the order and still have an effective slur that only slightly changes the context: "Hey, Dick Dribble, you just going to flick your ashes on the carpet?"
Strong feelings are conveyed by using more words and/or words that are stronger on the profanity scale. Instead of the old standbyes like goddammit or motherfucker (which might suggest lack of vocabulary skills), really express yourself. Next time you slam your finger in the door, impress and amaze everyone around you by yelling "Cockroach monkey fucker!" People will be slackjawed considering your ejaculation of emotion and talk about you long after you're gone:
"Is the cockroach fucking the monkey?"
"Is it a cock with a roach-monkey? What's a roach-monkey?"
If you want real fun, you could add a dribble dick between cockroach and monkey. The English language is amazing. Few other languages give us the ability to say the same thing, twenty different ways, and have each way have a unique context and flavor that expresses what we really meant.