Really Bad Advice
A delightful thing transpired today shortly after I woke up. I was really bored so I went to one of those question sites (OK REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BORED TODAY) and came across a girl asking What do I need to do to get ready for my first porn?
Oh Joy... Thinking this was a joke I decided to humor the girl and responded:
Well first buy a 24 pack of Trojans. Buy some KY since because you will be getting things shoved in places that do not naturally lubricate themselves. Dont spend too much on fancy underwear seeing as how for the most part you will not be wearing any. Take some aspirin a few hours before hand and definitely take some whiskey as you will need a few shots to make it through. Obviously you wont need to spend too much time on your hair, just make it strait (as everyone who sees you will just be nutting off anyway so nobody cares). Makeup is important, it will probably get ruined at the end of your first session when some oversized black guy shoots his load all over your face so defiantly throw some in your purse for touch up. On that note, baby wipes! Good for a quick wipe up before youre on to the next guy. Then when it happens, make sure you are financially compensated very fairly for after this day, your reputation is forever tainted.
Subsequently, maybe 5 to 10 minutes later, I checked back to see that I had received feedback from the asker that said WTF?, that I realized the question was What do I need to do to get ready for my first prom?
So I have officially grounded myself from bestowing any more guidance today. Poor Girl