Pain meds for real
I just got my surgery yesterday. For real this time. It went very well and I didn't even have to be admitted to the hospital overnight. I was able to pee, get dressed, and walk around unassisted so they asked me if I wanted to go home. "Yes. Fuck yes."
If I stayed, they'd let me keep the PCA morphine pump. If I left, I could smoke my 25% Bubba Kush dipped in 97% BHO earwax hash and just take percodan. Of course I went home.
I've got these tubes in my abdomen to drip local anesthetic into the surgery location internally. It kind of numbs my whole pelvis. When I put on ice packs, it only feels a little cold. I'm taking 20mg of hydrocodone every four hours of so and I haven't been shy hitting the bong with hash laced hits. I'm doing okay. Still hurts though.
My cock and balls have swollen to giant proportions. I'm almost tempted to post a picture in the mature section. They're really sore too. My cock is pretty much alright, but my balls feel like they've been stepped on.
The worst thing so far about my recovery is totally my fault. I didn't get any stool softener before surgery. I normally max out on pain meds after surgery. Narcotics slow down peristolic wave in your GI tract. When they do the surgery, they paralyze it altogether. I have huge patches newly installed in my pelvic girdle. It's excrutiating when I bear down to take a shit. I had to get the poop out. It's not like it's going to get smaller or softer if I waited. So I totally grunted out a butt baby this morning. I was doing lamaze breathing and everything.
My mother-in-law is bringing me some stool softeners in a few hours. My wife asked if that was embarassing. "Fuck no, I'm going to ask her if she'll give me an enema too just to see the look on her face."
My eyes are starting to cross a little. So I'm signing off for a while.