My son was given an assignment to write something satirical. This is the first installment of three. Little Letem is looking for honest responses, so please comment.
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Hi everyone! So I had to write a satirical essay and the teacher gave us a few topics to choose from and I chose Facebook. I'm only partly done my essay and I was wondering if you could read what I have so far and give me your opinions on it. Thank you SO much!! You have no idea

Beautiful Facebook


As the human population grows, so does the structure that is required to support it. With just the right amount of peer pressure, a new foundation of society and many peoples lives was put into place in the form of a website called Facebook. Since school does not take up a students entire day, the gaps of time have to be filled, otherwise children may take it upon themselves to exercise their imaginations, or God forbid, go outside. While these students are indoors, basking in their computer screens illumination, they can be rest assured that on the other end of their Facebook conversation is an aroused sexual predator. Whether a student is sharing pictures with a pedophile late at night, enjoying Facebook applications which are specially designed by experts to maintain both low levels of enjoyment and high levels of addiction simultaneously, or simply spending the rest of the day photo shopping their profile picture to look as pretty as their friend, Facebook is a sufficient way to relieve people of the burden of time. Those who use that time believing that they are privately spending it on Facebook, are laughably mistaken. Like a mother introducing her shy child to a group of other children with a gentle push, Facebook does not hesitate to reveal everyone's supposed privacy, no one is left behind.

Over the years, pedophiles have faced much hardship. Looking inconspicuous while snapping a few photos of children in a schoolyard setting for later enjoyment is a difficult task for anyone. Before Facebook, if a pedophile would want a sample of the desired product, it could lead to decades of imprisonment with humans their age, of which they would have no interest. Thanks to Facebooks organization, there is a supermarket of ripe youth that is refreshed each time the predator clicks next. Even without prior contact, the predator can learn much about whoever he is interested in, including physical appearance, school, and birth date. Before you know it, the predator is no longer a saggy, naked, elder leaning into his computer screen, but he is dressed in the gorgeous profile picture of a teenage girl he found on Google images. Once he clicks which school he attends, without any verification needed, he can surf through thousands of pictures prepared for him of any person who goes to that school. Frank Hamilton, a former high school teacher and one of the oldest members of Facebook stated, Its almost like they know that I'm watching and they're trying to impress me. The pictures get better and better each day. I cant wait until the pictures of last nights party get uploaded. Even though Facebooks developers have almost succeeded in making Facebook the perfect breeding ground for pedophiles, they still say they can improve. Currently, the Facebook team is working on a system that will remove users Facebook privileges if their pictures are not revealing enough to satisfy a pedophile. These privileges are redeemed once enough pedophiles approve of their updated gallery.