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I hate frogs

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For seven or eight months I've had this fairly cool pet...a Frog. He usually just sits in his tank and blinks at me. Not very exciting really. But sometimes he can be fun to play around with. Sometimes he says funny things, even clever things. We converse over coffee in the morning or while I have a midnight snack. He is actually quite witty.

 

I was slightly bummed when I awoke one morning for coffee and conversation only to find that my frog had left me a note on the tank..."Dear Deunan, I very much enjoy our infrequent chats but I must be off for awhile. I will return." Signed, Frog.

 

I returned home from work one day about three weeks later to a mild surprise...there were now two frogs in my tank. My trusty pet Frog and and his new female partner. "Well, how have you been Frog?" I said. "Very well Deunan thank you. Please allow me to introduce you to my Lady." Frog replied. "Hello Lady Frog" I said. "Nice to meet you Deunan." Lady Frog replied.

 

The next few weeks went off the way they used to, more or less. But then, one day, a friend pulled me aside at a gathering...."Hey Deunan, have you always had problems with your pet Frogs?" they said. "Whatever do you mean?" I asked. "Well...how do I say this Deunan...your pet Lady Frog is somewhat of a bitch and your pet Frog has become a giant asshole. What gives?" I was asked. "I'm not sure." I replied.

 

I studied the Frogs for the next few weeks, having little to no conversation with them. I did notice though that when my friends were around my Frogs were both very aggressive, violent even. Defensive when it wasn't necessary to be so. My pet Frog even threatened a dear friend with physical violence.

 

Now all my friends hate the Frogs. And I can't blame them. Maybe I'll get a dog.

 

Frog leg eating Deunan

 

(Any resemblance to any person, be they real or fictional, is entirely coincidental.) :)

DeunanKnute Uploaded 03/20/2011
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