I used to work for an insurance firm, and we would get all sorts of bizarre claims in. Everything from Severe penile contusions from a vacuum cleaner, to the woman who had to have an orange removed.
This was one of my favorites. I've embelished it a little for the sake of entertainment, but I'm not making any note of the insurance company or the names of the people involved.
It seems that there was a woman who planned to go on a picnic with her beau. She picked him up in a little sports car and off they drove into the country. She kept on flirting with him by hiking up her skirt, and soon flirting became touching as he grabbed her thigh.
Their passions thus ignited, it was apparent they weren't going to make it to the picnic site before their first romp. So, the damsel pulled her car to the side of a deserted country road and the fun began.
He unzipped and swung his body over the console and she tilted her seat back as far as it could go. With panties pulled to the side he slid into position and began to pump.
But after only a stroke or two, disaster struck. He slipped a disk. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, understand that spinal pain is amongst the most excruciating things you can experience. It can cripple your whole body.
So here he is, still burried but any move he makes is agonizing. She tries to slide out from under him but thanks to the bucket seats she's pinned under his weight. She can't move without causing him pain and possible harm.
So she finally decides to call for help, but this is pre-cell-phone days and there is no way someone will hear their voices out in the middle of nowhere. She risks it, and positions herself so she can bang on the car horn with the heels of her feet.
Finally help comes...sort of. It's an old farmer on a tractor who came out to see what all of the noise was. All he knows is that he doesn't want to get involved, so he goes back home and calls for help. But he tells enough people on the way so that by the time the police and rescue squads show up there's quite a crowd.
The rescue squad is afraid they'll harm the guy if they just pull him out, and decide a backboard is best. But they can't slide in one in such a small car, so they bring out the tools and slice off the roof of the car. Once they do that, they find that it's still a tight fit so they slice out the steering column as well. Finally, after being stuck like that for hours, they slip in a backboard and take the poor fellow to the nearest ER.
But back at the scene, paramedics are helping the woman and making sure that she's unharmed. She's a little shaken, but she seems to be fine. As they are suggesting that she go to the ER as well, just to be on the safe side, she's heard to remark:
"Oh, my God. What am I going to tell my husband about his car?"