DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!
Everyone always makes fun of me and that hurts my feelings.
People always laugh at me and say that my face looks like a cross between Steve Buschemi and Forrest Whittaker, and that my long and curly blonde mullet looks like a washed up early 1990's wrestler, and that my body looks like a garbage bag filled with raw hamburger.
Everytime I am about to be intimate with a lady it results in said lady pointing at my junk and laughing. "Ha ha ha it looks like one of those orange tic tacs attached to a raisin" they say to me.
In high school people used to corner me in this spot at the bottom of the stair well and other kids took turns pissing and shitting on my from the stairs above. One guy even tried to make me eat the skid marks in my own underwear. Sometimes they would surround me and tie me to a stove with barbed wire and take turns poking me with pencils or knitting needles or other pointy objects and sometimes they would fart right in my mouth.
The first date I ever had, the girl took me to make out point, told me to close my eyes, and she shat diarreah right on my shirt and said "You've been tagged" and other people were hiding in the bushes and they all jumped out and started laughing at me.
In college I got really drunk one night and my friends set me up with a girl. When I took this girl home...I found a big penis.
Now, because my name is AARON IAN DAVID SMITH, people make fun of me by calling me AIDS or EHDS (because I am Canadian).
This all hurts my feelings and makes me feel sad.