I was born in a dumpster somewhere in southern Mexico. All I know about my mother is that she was a crack addicted silverware polisher. Like most dumpster babies, I started hooking when I turned 12.

Life took a very wild turn when I met a lucha libre fighter named Jose Guzman, he was known as the burrito blobboh, a physical description is therefore not necessary. We married and decided to move to Canada where I could live off my dads business. I no longer had the hookin customer base, bein is I got a kickin in the face by a donkey while performing in Acapulco. Well, long story short, I got fired by my own pop and now collect unemployment so my husband can play WoW and I can sit on my ass and write blogs.