I DON'T THINK HE IS BREATHING!
dirtysanchez10
Published
06/29/2011
Well let me start off by saying its been way to long but better late than never.
The story starts with my unexpected departure from my job due to miscommunication between me and my boss....I was coming in stoned and they didn't tell me that I couldn't do that. So while I was waiting on something else to fall in my lap a friend of mine said he had some out of town side work for me. So I agreed without further info needed because when he said "side work" I was thinking fixing a house,yard work,working on cars or shoveling shit ect. Not even close....He said we are going Down to Florida to help clean up his wife's Granny's house. Doesn't sound to bad? Well here is a little back story,she lives there with her GROWN son that was perfectly healthy till he drank so much liqueur that it ate holes in his brain to the point he sits around the house in his mountain dew pants staring at his PAUSED t.v. for hours on end.While at the same time Shitting in his diaper! As we are pulling up he tells me all of this while informing me to wash and sanitize my hands every chance I get because he plays with his shit and touches EVERYTHING!! FUCK FUCK FUCK....Why didn't I just turn tricks for some extra money?!?! So I go in meet Granny....super nice awesome lady,the son not so much. For the next 3 hours I stared at the paused t.v. while he stared at the side of my head,there's nothing worse than the feeling that someone is staring at you just to look over to see that they are and they DON'T look away! They had a live in nurse with really bad timing or a fucked up since of humor because every time he went to walk by me she would ask him if he had to take bowel movement and at that time he took her remark as a suggestion more than a question and would proceed to take a shit right in front of my face! Just when I thought it couldn't get any better the next day came. We were sent off to pic up lunch which was about 5 mins away, me and my friend(at this point I'm using the word "friend" loosely) get in the car and ALMOST make it out of the driveway before Mcshitty comes runny out screaming like a child "I WANNA GO,TAKE ME TAKE ME" my friend said Ok fine get in the car at what point I think he heard "ok shit in the car" I'm stuck in the back seat with the child lock on with Sir dumps alot shitting away in the front! We get the food and get ready to head back to the house but wait thats to easy.....Shitty wants StarBucks double shot! Threw a fucking fit over it so we drive 30 fucking mins out of the way to find a StarBucks because when We said we can get one at a gas station he said NO I WANT REAL STARBUCKS!!! So we finally get there and he orders in his child like voice"yes I want a StarBucks double shot in the can" At this point I'm in the back seat one eye twitching mumbling Did he just say double shot in a FUCKING can?!?!?!
To be continued tomorrow......
~Dirty~
The story starts with my unexpected departure from my job due to miscommunication between me and my boss....I was coming in stoned and they didn't tell me that I couldn't do that. So while I was waiting on something else to fall in my lap a friend of mine said he had some out of town side work for me. So I agreed without further info needed because when he said "side work" I was thinking fixing a house,yard work,working on cars or shoveling shit ect. Not even close....He said we are going Down to Florida to help clean up his wife's Granny's house. Doesn't sound to bad? Well here is a little back story,she lives there with her GROWN son that was perfectly healthy till he drank so much liqueur that it ate holes in his brain to the point he sits around the house in his mountain dew pants staring at his PAUSED t.v. for hours on end.While at the same time Shitting in his diaper! As we are pulling up he tells me all of this while informing me to wash and sanitize my hands every chance I get because he plays with his shit and touches EVERYTHING!! FUCK FUCK FUCK....Why didn't I just turn tricks for some extra money?!?! So I go in meet Granny....super nice awesome lady,the son not so much. For the next 3 hours I stared at the paused t.v. while he stared at the side of my head,there's nothing worse than the feeling that someone is staring at you just to look over to see that they are and they DON'T look away! They had a live in nurse with really bad timing or a fucked up since of humor because every time he went to walk by me she would ask him if he had to take bowel movement and at that time he took her remark as a suggestion more than a question and would proceed to take a shit right in front of my face! Just when I thought it couldn't get any better the next day came. We were sent off to pic up lunch which was about 5 mins away, me and my friend(at this point I'm using the word "friend" loosely) get in the car and ALMOST make it out of the driveway before Mcshitty comes runny out screaming like a child "I WANNA GO,TAKE ME TAKE ME" my friend said Ok fine get in the car at what point I think he heard "ok shit in the car" I'm stuck in the back seat with the child lock on with Sir dumps alot shitting away in the front! We get the food and get ready to head back to the house but wait thats to easy.....Shitty wants StarBucks double shot! Threw a fucking fit over it so we drive 30 fucking mins out of the way to find a StarBucks because when We said we can get one at a gas station he said NO I WANT REAL STARBUCKS!!! So we finally get there and he orders in his child like voice"yes I want a StarBucks double shot in the can" At this point I'm in the back seat one eye twitching mumbling Did he just say double shot in a FUCKING can?!?!?!
To be continued tomorrow......
~Dirty~
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