Ripped And Shredded
ZeroEnygma
Published
07/15/2011
Hundreds of parts scattered around the garage84 pages of instructions. The promise of ripped abs, shredded legs and a bronzed perfect body. I've never been confused with Adonis, and the only body parts that have been ripped and shredded are my heart and ego, long since healed.
As construction of this new garage ornament progresses, I meet the task with a steely resolve not to let it meet the same fate as previous failed experiments in home fitness equipment. The most infamous was the "glider", masquerading as the easy path to 5% body fat, but in reality a one-way ticket to tendinitis. It spent several inglorious years collecting dust until it was finally given away to some unfortunate sap as the garage sale wound down. Finally finishedan excellent workout just putting it together. Maybe I should just take it apart and put it back together again every dayI'll have that buff body in no time. I gloss through the excellent advice to drink several gallons of water daily and eat a healthy and balanced diet. Advice that I must follow in order to find that six-pack that is hiding in all of us. That's all very well and good, but I'll settle for the six-pack in the fridge.
So as I sit on my new machine at 10:30 a.m., drinking a beer and watching the game on the small screen in the garage (I can do that since I worked out), I have come to the realization that this freaking contraption is more comfortable than my recliner. I'll drink to that.
5 Comments