I am from the past. Learn from me!
This message is a WARNING to the eBaum blog community - if we do not cease our disloyalty to Neko and her army of loyal and faithful followers, a great war shall commence and in the nearby future, the blog section and the website as a whole will be no more ... similar to the aftermath displayed by a nuclear winter.
No man thinks more highly than I do of Neko, as well as abilities, of the very worthy Lady which has just addressed the Blog section. But different trolls often see the same wordsmith in different lights; and, therefore, I hope it will not be thought disrespectful to those trolls if, entertaining as I do opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The question before the Blog section is one of awful moment to this Site. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the Lady ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfill the great responsibility which we hold to Goddess and our Site. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offense, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards Ebaumsworld, and of an act of disloyalty toward the Majesty of Blogs, which I revere above all trolls and ogres.
Fellow Ebaumers, it is natural to trolls to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren, DeunanKnute, till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and, having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of Ebones it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it.
I have but one account by which my hands are guided, and that is the account of Twidget. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the Rin alts for the last few months to justify those hopes with which trolls have been pleased to solace themselves and the Blog section. Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a troll Kingdom. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our petition comports with those warlike preparations which cover our waters and darken our land. Are comments and replies necessary to a work of love and reconciliation? Have we shown ourselves so unwilling to be reconciled that Blogs must be called in to win back our love? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation; the last arguments to which trolls resort. I ask Ebaumers, sir, what means this verbal array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can trolls assign any other possible motive for it? Has DeunanKnute any enemy, in this quarter of Ebaumsworld, to call for all this accumulation of a gay kingdom? No, sir, she has none. It is meant for us: it can be meant for no other. It is sent over to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the Rin alts have been so long forging. And what have we to oppose to them? Shall we try argument? Sir, we have been trying that for the last few months. Have we anything new to offer upon the subject? Nothing. We have held the Lady up in every light of which She is capable; but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to entreaty and humble supplication? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves. Sir, we have done everything that could be done to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated ourselves before the trolls, and have implored its interposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the Rin alts. Our petitions have been slighted; our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our supplications have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the foot of the trolls! In vain, after these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and reconciliation. There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free-- if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending--if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained--we must Blog! I repeat it, sir, we must Blog! An appeal to thought and to the Goddess Neko is all that is left us!
They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a Rin alt shall be stationed in Ebaumer's account? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us NIC and Router? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the Goddess Neko of Ebaumsworld hath placed in our power. The millions of bloggers, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a site as that which we frequent, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just Goddess who presides over the destinies of Ebaumsworld, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of live chat! The blogging is inevitable--and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come.
It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding blogs! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that ebaum blogers wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of a gay kingdom? Forbid it, Almighty Goddess! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me Neko or give me banned!