When it's hot you wear shorts. When it's cold you wear a coat. So why do women insist on wearing makeup and perfume? It's simple. They're ugly and they stink. Women have fake nails, fake hair, fake eyelashes, then they say they want a real man. Women are deceptive. I like women. I like deceptive women. The more deceptive the better. Women in their raw form are disgusting, one step above bush ape, one small step. They know it too. That's what inspired them to evolve into the high maintenance units that they are today. Clothes, manicures, pedicures, purses, shoes, tanning, hair styling, hair cutting, hair removal, makeup, perfume....it never ends. For that I say thank you. Thank you for making me wait two hours while you get ready to go on a date. Thank you for spending the whole night talking about your clothes, or hair, or whatever it was. Thank you for letting me pay for everything when we're together so you have money to spend on more important things, most importantly yourself. Thank you for making yourself something that you aren't because you look gorgeous. I say thank you because I'm shallow, and if you weren't fake I wouldn't be that interested.