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OCD

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So I have always had "little rituals" for as long as I can remember.  Things like, if you were to miss a spot while cleaning and I notice it will drive me insane.  But I can't tell you to get it or even do it myself.... I don't know why.  Once on a subway in NY I noticed a business man with fuzz on his pant leg.  It was making me crazy and I couldn't look away.  Finally I couldn't take anymore so I really slyly picked it off and threw it to the ground in triumph!!  The closest thing I can relate it to in terms of relief is Maury Povich saying, "You are NOT the father!" He didn't notice but I'm sure someone saw me and to this day thinks about that strange dude picking at another guys leg.  I chalked it up to just strange habits that everyone has.  I have a friend who, I shit you not, says the pledge of allegiance every day before he  steps into the shower. 
But the last year or two mine has been getting worse.  I don't have a number or anything like that... it's more of a balance issue.  It happens when I notice something is out of place (but Im not a neat freak by any stretch) or if I step on a line and I always retrace my same steps when I get home from work and walk up to my door.  The worst is the lines.  I try not to step on them, but thats not as bad as if there is a table with lines.  Like checkers or something.  If I set my cup down, I have to cross one of the lines that doesn't feel balanced with my cup.  So I slide my cup back and forth over the line until the balance is restored.  It usually is a pit in my chest that keeps getting "warmer."  Once the balance is restored it "cools off."  Sometimes it only take a second, others a minute.  The best though, is sometimes a new line will become unbalanced and I have to cross that as well.  So now I'm just sliding my glass over this table looking like Im trying some sort of witchcraft.  Eventually the balance is restored and I am fine until the next time I pick up my glass.  I am completely aware of how funny this looks and I should be laughed at for it.  It looks that funny.  Some people out there though have the same thing...only they feel like if they don't touch something a certain amount of times...someone in the world will die because of it.  Now, I'm pretty kick ass but I don't fancy myself so important that I control the outcome of someone's life by my crazy antics... but it is a bit annoying sometimes.  It's tough to impress a chick when you're accidentally tracing pentagrams into her coffee table.  But who knows...maybe my line crossing is all thats holding this world together??  Its like the numbers on the only episode of Lost I ever saw.  So Im gonna stick with it for a while.  
-The End 
liquidlou Uploaded 09/13/2011
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