WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?! I want to be heard. I want to live. This is the only one ive got. Why would I want to be a loner and keep everything to myself? THERE IS NO SECOND CHANCE AT THIS!! In my desperate attempt over the years to fill a void I felt I had, I would search other places for the weird, the strange, the bizarre. I came to the realization that...why not just create it myself? Instead of focusing on philosophical reasons behind human beings and the way and why we act and what comes next, why not just create these ideas and fantasies and nightmares myself? Shift your priorities. Forget what may or may not come next, create your own. Maybe what you create here, is ultimately what comes next. If you create a piece of shit life for yourself, maybe thats the hell you end up in in your next life. If you create a full, positive, happy life, thats where you end up after you die. Ive figured you out, God. Well played.
Ok take a step back. Writing. Creating my own stories. I can start now. I have the time. Who knows, maybe one day I will get a chance to publish them. I can take my project of writings and stories anywhere. I can become the person authors write stories about. Why not? Going Gonzo. This is my one chance at life. As much as I love the Skynyrd song, dont be a simple kinda man. Be big. Be loud. This is your life. Your next one depends on it.
I would be insulting my ancestors, my parents, their parents, their parents if I did nothing huge with my life. Everything they did, they did it for the next generation. For their kids and their kids' kids. This is not just wasting my life, its making one of their life's goals incomplete. All the paths they took for us. Maybe people really do see ghosts and spirits. Maybe its their dead relatives trying to tell them youre on the wrong path. You can do better. Pretty ironic that the people who see most of these spirits are the religious...they are just twisting what those spirits are revealing themselves for. They are not a sign from god, they are trying to tell you to stop your nonsense and make something of yourself.