The Bloody Hookup
Now we all know that when the ZOO parties, we fucking party. No fucking pussies allowed because they are known as a number 47, aka a buzz kill. The nights going well so far (50 dont throw pussy shit, he throws bangers) but I had run out of beer, so what the fuck do I do? I fucking go on another run.
I tried leaving, but 50 caught me midway on the stairs. This motha fucka was like Yo fuck beer, I got something better.
What do you got, I asked.
Oh your gonna like this, he says.
To this day I dont know what the fuck I drank. It was some type of malt liquor and I downed over half the bottle. Now heres an equation: me having a buzz + over half a bottle of liquor = blackout.
Oh man the stories I heard the next day. I started off by drinking spit that my asshole friend left on the table, and then I moved onto Jet Li. No not Jet Li the actor; Im not gay (btw im single ladies :D). It was this Asian chick that from what I heard was a 2 or 3. Now you cant judge me because I was rockin beer vision. All you mother fuckers have had it before so dont hate bitches. Anyways were getting hot and steamy outside (fellas take notes, ladies give me a call) and Im making this bitch wet. Wet like a fucking river, when all of a sudden I fucking bit her lip. I bit her fucking lip and this bitch was bleeding off the wazoo. I mean blood everywhere and she was fucking screaming. Turns out she had a huge gash in her lip, hahahaha. 50 cleaned her up and that was it for me. I woke up the next morning with the taste of blood in my mouth.