The story of Christmas
For starters, Jesus was a Jew. Not only was he a Jew, he was a Rabbi, which, for those of you reading this who are semi-literate (that's you, Ryan and Neko), means he was a Super-Jew.
All that stuff that the Bible says about MIracles that Jesus performed is complete bullshit. The book consistently contradicts itself.
Did you know that the Bible actually says that it is a sin to wear Cotton and Linen together? Of course, it's not a MORTAL sin, so you can probably sleep well tonight, if your new pajamas and slippers don't match in the eye of the Lord. lol
The parting of the Red Sea? Anybody remember that one? (It was Old Testament, before Jesus introduced HImself to us.) The only place that ever happened was at Universal Studios, and if you get the chance, I highly reccomend a trip there. Miracles Await!
Nobody really knows when Jesus was born, so celebrating his birthday on December 25th would be a little silly, until you realize that the Bible (like almost every other thing back in the day) is based on Astrology and Astronomy. December 25 is very close to the Winter Solstice, and of course, when the Bible was written, it WAS the Winter Solstice. End of story.
Christianity- What an interesting concept... Jesus NEVER, EVER, NOT EVEN ONCE mentioned anything about this 'religion'. He was a Rabbi (as stated above) and his goal was to make Jews more aware of their duty to their God. I am POSITIVE that if he were to come back today, the first thing he would do is destroy all those calling themselves Chrsitian, and meaning 'separate and distinct from the Jewish Faith'. Jesus would not even recognize Christianity, and never wanted his name used for a new religion.
Christians that practice Anti Semitism, here's some bad news for you. If you believe in Christ as your Personal Saviour, yet hate Jews, you hate Jesus, and he will Hate You Back. (Or he would, if he were actually REAL.)
Also, the Jews didn't kill Jesus, the Romans did. I know that the False Prophet, Mel Gibson, says otherwise, but alas, he is WRONG.
The fact is, Christianity is pretty popular, but there are some not-so-well-known facts about Christianity that I think you should all know. (If you already know them, just skip on...)
Paganism was widspread and practiced openly.( For the retarded here, Paganism is not an evil religion- It is a religion that worships nature, rather than an imaginary God)
When Christianity started in earnest, Christians made it their duty to convert Pagans to Christianity. If the Pagans wouldn't convert, they were systematically killed. Sounds like the work of a bunch of people who believe in a Truly Loving Gid, doesn't it? lol
BUT HEY- THAT'S JUST THE BEGINNING!!!
Look up the Spanish Inquisition, where a bunch of Catholics spent a couple years killing everyone who didn't believe what they did!
Look up what the nice Christian men did to the Mexicans when they arrived in Mexico!
Hey, just for shits and giggles, check out the Trail of Tears!!! Wow, what a fun ride THAT must've been for the Cherokees!
Hey, I gotta go- we're gonna go on a Bool Hunt...
Merry Christmas, everyone!!! And of course, a Happy New Segment of Time based on the Fictional Birth of a Great Man Who Many Millions Of People Have Used to Do Whatever They Want To Whomever They Want!!!
Hope you all got those Skinny Jeans and that Ipad you wanted!!!