Keeping Your Boyfriend In Check
As everybody knows, males are inferior to females and have a very low sense of dignity and almost no sense of loyalty. To put it in simple words, if a hot girl hits on a straight man, the chances are 99.9% that he's gonna bend to her will. You need to be alert.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with hitting on a taken man. If you're attractive and succeed, it means you're better than his girlfriend and she doesn't deserve him. This article is about how to defend yourself from potential harpies and nymphos.
First of all, his cell phone is your friend. When he goes to sleep, browse through his text messages. You also need to find out what his ex's name is and delete it from his contacts as a precaution the first time you get your hands on his mobile. If there's a hint that your boyfriend flirts with his female friend, you need to dig some info on her. Find her facebook page and evaluate if she's any threat to you. If she's fat, you can ignore her. Be careful with the slim ones you find unattractive - they might still be nymphos.
The second step is always flirting with his friends when you're out in a larger group. Jealousy works for your advantage. You need to remember to be subtle and let your boyfriend think his buddy is hitting on you, not the opposite. If they get into a fight, you can see if your boyfriend can defend himself and perhaps his rival is a better option for you. If your boyfriend goes to a hospital with some broken ribs, you can get more points for visiting him.
Be sure to set your rules even before you move in together. For example, he needs to know YOU choose the movie and it's YOU who decides on the restaurant and you go out when YOU are ready. Always come at least 5 minutes late to a meeting and if he comes to pick you up, be sure to appear surprised he's so early, even though he was late. Not only will he chill a bit, he'll know that you're in charge and it's up to you when yo go.
Be sure to criticise him whenever he deserves it - no matter what simple shit he fails at. His shoe lace is untied? "I don't care if you trip and break your leg, but tie your shoe because I don't want people to think I'm dating a retard that doesn't know how to tie them" or "Do you need help with that shoe lace? - you probably get the idea; it's that you subtly tell him to do something in a way he feels a bit humiliated and that he knows who's in charge. It's important to do that often and regularly.
Learn one of the most important words - "No!" He asks you if you wanna see the new Transformers? "No! Let's go on something that's not retarded, full of explosions and boobs." He wants to go to a restaurant? "No! When was the last time you cooked for me?" Even though you sometimes want to watch the movie or something he suggests, make sure you decline every second or third of his suggestions. Don't feed his ego.
There's another very important tip. Make him cook. Men are excellent cooks. Tell him to cook for you. You don't need to cook. Ever. Say it's not for you. He'll happily learn - to suck up for you. That's where you have him. Praise him EVERY time he cooks. Even if he sucks at it first. Say it's too salty or some shit like that, but make sure you compliment his dedication. Say "You'll get a hang of it, you're already a great chef. You need practice."
Remember to use your wits and figure out new ways of bending your boyfriend to your will. Use your creativity. If you have your own ways, please share them in the comment section to this blog