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Troll-wife's dumbest lie

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Throughout the divorce, Troll-wife has lied pretty much full time.  I still don't lie to her, but I have to assume everything she tells me is a lie.

When Troll-wife left home to start her exciting new life, she left both of her cats behind.  At the time, she'd pretty much checked out with her kids, so it shouldn't surprise me that she'd ditch her pets too.  The worst thing is I'm not a fan of cats.  I don't hate them.  I'm not mean to them.  I just don't care to have them as pets.  Litter boxes are bullshit.

So Troll-wife leaves and I've got two new cats.  

One of the cats will opportunistically piss in things.  It's an older cat and the little kicks its ass when it tries to use one of the litter boxes.  It has to stealth piss.  It's a nice cat, my son is crazy about it.  I just hate cleaning up cat piss.

When Troll-wife kidnapped my son, I was pretty insane.  It was my girlfriend's idea just drop the cats off at Troll-wife's mother's house, where she was supposed to be staying.  I only brought the piss cat.  I dropped it off on the front porch, called Troll-wife so it wouldn't die, and left.  I kept the little cat as it had kind of become my daughter's cat more than Troll-wife's.

Troll-wife either left it outside until it died or took it to the pound herself.  It was exclusively an indoor cat its whole life.  When I went over there, after things got settled down, it would come up to me in the front yard and meow at me like the cat from Pet Sematary.  It didn't last long.  My son was devastated.  Six months later he was still asking me to put up signs for him.  His mother didn't have the sack to tell him it was gone for good.

When I dropped off the piss cat, I told Troll-wife what I wouldn't drop off the other cat "for now, as long as daughter cared for it."  When she moved into her own house, I asked her to come get her cat.  She refused.  She said that she was unable to have pets at her new house.  Which begs the question:  why would you sign a lease on a house that won't allow you to keep your pet there?

I was far enough along to assume she was full of shit.  I told her she needed to take responsibility for her pets.  I even pointed out that her cats were living things she'd made a commitment to and she was blowing them off when it became inconvenient.  I also pointed out that even though I should feel a kinship with them, under the circumstances, she still needed to come get her cat.  

She insisted that she simply couldn't take the cat.  If I had a problem with it, I should take the cat to the pound.  I figured she'd shown me her hand.  This was her daughter's pet.  If I dropped it off at her house like I'd done the last cat, she could bring it to the pound and blame me:  "I'm sorry, daughter, but your father knew I couldn't have a pet here."  Or, I'd simply bring it to the pound myself.  Either way, I'd alienate myself from my daughter a little.  She finally told me that I needed to "man up" and take care of my daughter's cat.  

It bears mentioning that when Troll-wife told me she was getting the second cat, years ago, I didn't say no.  I said "Fuck No!"  She got it anyway.

I called my lawyer.  "Look, I feel like a dumbass to pay you $300/hour to handle this, but I need to look at Troll-wife's lease agreement."  I then explained the cat situation.  My lawyer requested the lease as a court document.  She had 30 days to produce it.  It turned out, the only thing stopping her from having pets was a nominal deposit.  She was just lying her ass off, vehemently.  

The final insult was before she picked up her cat, I found out she'd already bought a kitten.  She told my kids not to let me know.  "Don't tell your father.  It's none of his business."

She was oblivious or just didn't care that she was asking my kids to lie to me.  She had no qualms about letting my kids have to choose to lie to me by omission, or not rat her out.  Well, one of the kids ratted her out.  They felt terrible and were almost in tears when they told me.  "Mom, got a kitten.  She said not to tell you."  Head down and sad.

Lying like that about your pets.  What a lowlife.
tomlet Uploaded 05/29/2012
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