I've been toying with the idea of blogging again. I know you ALL miss me, hell, I don't blame you! I miss reading my blogs also.

     I didn't want to start back like this though, not like this, but I really don't think I have any other choice. So here goes...

     Many of you know that I'm a longshoreman. What we do is dangerous as hell. Two guys were killed last week. One in Longbeach and another in Friday Harbor. I didn't know those guys but it still hits home ya know? To add to this tragedy, a close personal friend of mine overdosed a month ago. As if these three occurrences weren't enough three more longshoremen were killed early Saturday morning. The worst part about this latest loss of life is the fact that I witnessed it first hand. Another longshoreman and myself witnessed it and were the first two on the scene. This latest accident will not make the news or the papers though, sadly, because all three involved were either leaving work or on their way to work.

     Steve, Todd and I were the last to leave the terminal. We were scheduled to be off at 4am but had finished slightly early. Todd was about one car length in front of me and to the right, Steve was maybe seven or eight car lengths ahead of me in my lane. I would guess Steve was doing at least 60mph. I didn't see the black Chrysler 300 until it had already plowed through Steve's SUV. The police later estimated the Chrysler to be traveling at speeds exceeding 90mph. We all learned later that the two men in the Chrysler were fellow longshoremen that were running late for their shift. It's true what "they" say people...this shit DOES happen in slow motion. Anyhow, Steve's SUV flipped two and a half times in midair and landed on it's roof which instantly crushed like a soda can. The Chrysler was now headed my direction, or at least what was left of it. I had plenty of time to get out of the way. Todd pulled to the right and ran to Steve's SUV. I pulled in behind him and got out also. Before I could get to the SUV Todd had already peeled the door open and looked inside. He must have heard me call out or something, I don't recall. He turned and grabbed me in stride and said "there's no helping him man, don't even look." Todd outweighs me by exactly 200lbs and was not physically capable af stopping me from checking on my friend. And he was right....I should not have looked!!! I did though, of course, and I will forever regret it. (I'm so sorry Steve! GODAMN!)

     I will tell you what I saw. Not for any morbid, sick, fucked up reason but for the single reason that I hope it might make you understand better exactly where my head is right now. His head had been bent backwards, neck obviously broken, head crushed from side to side, right eyeball popped and hemorraging, both arms broken in many places, the steering wheel was more inside his chest than outside, I couldn't see his legs at all but they were obviously crushed and being over his head it was literally raining blood inside the car. Fucked up enough for you??? This was my friend man....fuck!

     Todd had gone to check on the Chrysler while I stared at Steve. The driver of that car not much better than Steve. No help could be given to either of them. The Chrysler was so badly destroyed that neither Todd nor myself could make out that there was a passenger in it. He was not discovered for another 35 minutes. Wow man...just...wow!

     I didn't want to come back like this, not like this.

     RIP Steve, Jeff and Rick. You will be missed.

Disheartened Deunan