My name is Dr. Robert Baker and I am a licensed dog psychiatrist. I have observed lots of strange canine behavior in the video section of ebaumsworld.com and as a professional I feel it is my duty to voice an opinion on some of the more disturbing videos Ive found here:
1. Dog Has Malfunction
Normally I don't recommend hitting a dog, but in this case I would... not as punishment, but on the off-chance that a wire in its brain gets knocked back into place. If the problem persists please return your Canine Bio Toy to:
1433 Industrial Ave
2. Dog Humps Kid Playing Wii
There is nothing wrong with this dog. Dogs are programmed to have sex with anything that bends over and sticks out its butt. Someone should tell this kid to play video games sitting down and not bent over the ottoman like an eager little slut. This kid is so stupid he doesn't even realize that he's being raped; he just gets worked up like its a game or something and makes the dog even hornier.
3. Dog Bites in the Vagina Two Times
This dog bite the beautiful baby labradors penis. When he see other dog he get crazy and jump all over vagina. The owner she cares only for the safety of children, and screams, Run! as she opens the car door. I recommend talk therapy.
4. Sleepwalking Dog
The causes of sleepwalking are largely unknown, but we in the dog psychiatric community often suspect that its stress-related. The owners should consider taking this dog on sleepwalks, and, if that doesn't work, using a sleep leash. If the problem continues, they may have to put the dog to sleep sleep.
5. Skateboarding Dog
Skateboarding, rollerblading and going to video arcades are not uncommon behaviors, but that doesnt mean they're healthy either. If your dog spends all of its time skateboarding instead of studying for obedience school it may have dog ADD and is probably involved in animal delinquency. The best course of action is 10mg of Adderall twice daily.
6. Dog the Bounty Hunter N-word Incident
This dog is a racist and needs to be put down.