A few days ago SeeLute posted an interesting gallery called The Facts O' Life: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/view/82829270/. Within he included an interesting factlet stating a man's beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex. Although only somewhat truthful, it still isn't the type of thing guys should be too happy about.

In men, facial hair growth is dictated mainly by testosterone production. Of course, the more a man anticipates or thinks about sex, the more the biochemical is secreted by the testicles. But then again, there are many other factors in male beard growth, which range from mental fatigue, a plethora of active hormones during adolescence, and even alcohol consumption. Beard growth is actually a negatory when regular exercise and excessive temperature is involved.


                 How miserable.

What this means to the laymen is that in males, a nice, healthy-looking beard could just as easily be due to the fact you're a fat, alcoholic slob. You might feel manly sporting a beard when you can't see your toes because there are too many Dorito crumbs on your sweat-stained Hanes tee. And that could be due to the fact you were too lazy to go to school, seeing as how learning gives you migraines.

Now it makes lots of sense that every asshole, and tard I've ever met, seen, or known takes great pride in his never-ending variety of douchebag beard. Soul patch, goatee, Amish special, whatever. They're all gross. Unfortunately, even Commander Riker was more approachable by crew during the clean-shaven phase. No wonder effeminate/hairless guys are the subject of the 3rd most popular pornography on the net.


               Yeah, you're cool.

Now they've got that new reality show Whisker Wars, which is basically a dick-measuring contest disguised as a nasty beard-measuring competition. It's amusing to know the hairy fruit of these guys' labors stems from a lifetime of being sex-depraved nerds anxiously anticipating their moment with a woman. From the looks of most of them, it never happened, so now they focus on ugly beards to make some kind of masculine statement - and get to whore for a modicum of recognition for something, finally.

"But rin, that one dude has that hot chick who shows up!"
"But rin, I know this bearded fat dude who has a girlfriend!"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That fat, disgusting prick also makes $120,000 a year since a lifetime of rejection had to force him into specialized studies. And this other freak is now on television. Which brings me to another interesting factlet from the same gallery:

25% of women find a man more attractive when he has money.

Yeah.