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How To Get Free Stuff Without The Internet

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Originally posted on a bulletin board at a laundromat.

How to make a free phone call without Skype.

Find payphone.
Using pitch-perfect whistling, whistle the sound of quarters entering the slot.
Pause, then dial number.


How to get free music without Napster.


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Fill out and mail the postcard for the Columbia Record & Tape Club. 
Right away you'll get 11 records or cassettes for a penny. 
When you receive the selection, cancel your membership but keep the albums. 
Sometimes you'll have to return them, so get all records, which are easier to tape than cassettes.


How to get free computer video games.

Purchase computer game on floppy disk from KB Toys, FAO Schwartz, or Tower Records.
Copy game on blank floppy disk using two floppy disk drives.
You can use the other side of the floppy disk by punching a hole on its side (see illustration).


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Return game at store, get store credit, purchase new game, repeat process.

How to read free magazines.

Go to local newsstand. 
Pinch subscription cards from magazine.
Complete and fill in neighbor's address.
When magazine arrives, pick neighbor's mailbox lock and read!

How to make free money through newspapers.

Stand by a newspaper vending machine.
Wait for someone to insert coins and open flap to vending machine.
As that someone walks away, grab the handle before the door closes.
Grab pile of newspaper inside vending machine.
Walk downtown. 
Stand in front of closed news kiosk and pretend to be a newsie selling the afternoon edition.


How to get free pornography.


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Check out the Meese Report from your local library.
Sometimes people leave their window shades up. 
Walk along railroad tracks. Usually you can spy hidden cardboard boxes of girlie magazines.

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For more information, don't send a self-addressed stamped envolope to my P.O. Box. Instead, address a letter to yourself with my return address in the return address. Mail it without a stamp, it will be returned to my P.O. Box. Free Kevin.
Spiegelmania Uploaded 12/11/2012
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