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BEST CRUDE SEX JOKES

Q. How do you teach a blond math?
A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.

Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A. 45 lbs.

Q. What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
A. 100 people who don't do dick.

Q. What do you call it when someone farts in a gay bar?
A. A love call.

Q. How do you give a blind queer a thrill?
A. Leave the plunger in the toilet.

Q. How do lesbians handle their liquor?
A. By the ears. (Lick her)

Q. What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?
A. No ball room

Q. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A. The position of the dirt bag.

Q. What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
A. Doughnuts.

Q. Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose?
A. They couldn't close his casket.

Q. Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a fridge/freezer?
A. The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!

Q. What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?
A. Dicktator

Q. How do you make a snooker table laugh.
A. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.

Q. What do you call a female clown?
A. A Clunt

Q. What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
A. The aids team.

Q. Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?
A. He's down to four butts a day.

Q. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits?
A. The blonde, because she's 18.

Q. What's female Viagra?
A. Jewellery

Q. Why do only 10% of women go to heaven?
A. Because if they all went, it would be hell.

Q. What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A. A cherry float.

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