The Real American Culture.
RJM
Published
06/08/2013
Two young fish are swimming in a river. An elder fish passes them and says "Good morning. The water is lovely today, isn't it?" The fish look at each other, and one says to the other, "What's water?"
The same could be said of culture. Sometimes we don't appreciate the values we have because we don't see them as values, but rather social norms. This creates an observable disregard for what makes a culture great. There are many things about the American culture that are well worth appreciating and it sometimes irritates me to hear people characterize the home country as being this horrible, shameful place to be. To call yourself patriotic often gets looks of disbelief and disgust. And I think of those fish.
My colleague and business partner, Fred, is a PhD structural engineer from Taiwan. I am a high school graduate with some college. Together we worked side-by-side on countless projects by feeding off each other's strengths.
Some people, usually Arab, have entered his office, saw an Asian man, and turned around and walked right back out. They simply wish to not do business with Asians. When I was 23, owning my own design firm, I had a similar stigma as a "kid" that didn't know what he was doing. It was an obstacle I had to work hard to deconstruct.
People hate sometimes that I am proud and patriotic. I truly do love this country, flaws and all precisely because of the variety of cultures and people here. Say what you will about racism and discrimination keeping minorities down, if you are black and grew up in the hood and you make good choices, plan a future, and prove your worth to society, there's is literally nothing stopping you from going from the streets of Compton to a stock broker, political leader, or professional real estate developer. Everyone will face obstacles. Everyone. Racism is one of them. Discrimination will always be here in one form or another. But it is only an obstacle. Not a roadblock. Just ask one of my clients, Eric, who went from the streets of Compton to becoming a successful real estate developer.
This week, a Taiwanese lady named Mei Li had been referred to me by my partner. She went to school with him, and like him went to grad school and came to the states. They both settled in the same area of California and became established professionals here. I gave her a proposal and a fair price, and also went through the trouble of researching her project and bringing to light some issues that were going to kill her plans in her current track. To my knowledge, the other two guys bidding the project were not giving her this information because one was a civil engineer, the other a surveyor, and of the three I was the only one that regularly dealt with architectural design and working with planning commissions. I was the only one knowledgeable enough to know these issues. I was the middle-priced bid, and I was covering more bases, and had already brought value to the project by clearing up some design flaws that would have killed the project. I couldn't see any reason why I wouldn't get this project.
On our last conversation, she asked me what my degree was in. I told her my profession is architectural design and civil engineering, and I don't have a degree. I am a business partner with Fred, and he uses me for civil engineering (which he doesn't do, but is licensed to do) and my work is certified by him. She went on tell me about her degree, her husband's degree, her son's degree, her daughter-in-laws, etc... It was essentially a directory listing of Ivy-League universities. The only bearing this could have on the conversation on hand was class positioning. The insult was less than subtle.
She chose the low-priced surveyor, who ultimately will be providing plans that she cannot use for the planning application she is applying for. She chose degrees and license over knowledge and experience. Fred is doing the architectural design. Again, a structural engineer. He has virtually no aesthetic sense. But he has a PhD. There is no one on the design team now that has any experience working with planning commissions and design.
If you are like me, you judge people on character and accomplishments. In some ways, having an Ivy-League degree brings with it a mixed blessing of judgments. There's an admiration, and then there's also the stigma. An underlying impression that you are elitist. You were given your successes in life on a silver platter embossed with the Alma Mater of the family tradition. As a result, credit for your accomplishments becomes diverted from the personal, to the inherited.
What most Americans care about isn't the logo on your degree. It is what you value you bring to society after your schooling. Getting a degree is not an accomplishment. That's right. It is meaningless the day you flip your tassel. No one has benefited from your actions as of yet. You are nothing more than a person that has yet to prove yourself of any worth to anyone. You are a bum. What you do from there is the only thing that will matter to society.
Fred wrote me a letter that reminded me of these values we have and what I like about the USA.
"Ryan:
I agreed with you totally about Mei Li. She and a lot of other Asians, especially back to the original countries where they came from, judged people differently from American way. They like to judge people based on their social status, school they went, and their family tree, etc, like old times in India and England. But in US, we judge people based on their knowledge, character no matter where you came from.
Anyway, that's why I like to stay in US and work with American instead of Asian's society. It is weird that I am a Asian and I don't like the Asian's attitude at all. May be I have been in US too long, much longer than in Taiwan where I grew up.
Fred"
tl;dr: In the US, there is a culture that says 'we don't care what your race is, or what pricey college you came from. We judge people on character and accomplishments.'
The same could be said of culture. Sometimes we don't appreciate the values we have because we don't see them as values, but rather social norms. This creates an observable disregard for what makes a culture great. There are many things about the American culture that are well worth appreciating and it sometimes irritates me to hear people characterize the home country as being this horrible, shameful place to be. To call yourself patriotic often gets looks of disbelief and disgust. And I think of those fish.
My colleague and business partner, Fred, is a PhD structural engineer from Taiwan. I am a high school graduate with some college. Together we worked side-by-side on countless projects by feeding off each other's strengths.
Some people, usually Arab, have entered his office, saw an Asian man, and turned around and walked right back out. They simply wish to not do business with Asians. When I was 23, owning my own design firm, I had a similar stigma as a "kid" that didn't know what he was doing. It was an obstacle I had to work hard to deconstruct.
People hate sometimes that I am proud and patriotic. I truly do love this country, flaws and all precisely because of the variety of cultures and people here. Say what you will about racism and discrimination keeping minorities down, if you are black and grew up in the hood and you make good choices, plan a future, and prove your worth to society, there's is literally nothing stopping you from going from the streets of Compton to a stock broker, political leader, or professional real estate developer. Everyone will face obstacles. Everyone. Racism is one of them. Discrimination will always be here in one form or another. But it is only an obstacle. Not a roadblock. Just ask one of my clients, Eric, who went from the streets of Compton to becoming a successful real estate developer.
This week, a Taiwanese lady named Mei Li had been referred to me by my partner. She went to school with him, and like him went to grad school and came to the states. They both settled in the same area of California and became established professionals here. I gave her a proposal and a fair price, and also went through the trouble of researching her project and bringing to light some issues that were going to kill her plans in her current track. To my knowledge, the other two guys bidding the project were not giving her this information because one was a civil engineer, the other a surveyor, and of the three I was the only one that regularly dealt with architectural design and working with planning commissions. I was the only one knowledgeable enough to know these issues. I was the middle-priced bid, and I was covering more bases, and had already brought value to the project by clearing up some design flaws that would have killed the project. I couldn't see any reason why I wouldn't get this project.
On our last conversation, she asked me what my degree was in. I told her my profession is architectural design and civil engineering, and I don't have a degree. I am a business partner with Fred, and he uses me for civil engineering (which he doesn't do, but is licensed to do) and my work is certified by him. She went on tell me about her degree, her husband's degree, her son's degree, her daughter-in-laws, etc... It was essentially a directory listing of Ivy-League universities. The only bearing this could have on the conversation on hand was class positioning. The insult was less than subtle.
She chose the low-priced surveyor, who ultimately will be providing plans that she cannot use for the planning application she is applying for. She chose degrees and license over knowledge and experience. Fred is doing the architectural design. Again, a structural engineer. He has virtually no aesthetic sense. But he has a PhD. There is no one on the design team now that has any experience working with planning commissions and design.
If you are like me, you judge people on character and accomplishments. In some ways, having an Ivy-League degree brings with it a mixed blessing of judgments. There's an admiration, and then there's also the stigma. An underlying impression that you are elitist. You were given your successes in life on a silver platter embossed with the Alma Mater of the family tradition. As a result, credit for your accomplishments becomes diverted from the personal, to the inherited.
What most Americans care about isn't the logo on your degree. It is what you value you bring to society after your schooling. Getting a degree is not an accomplishment. That's right. It is meaningless the day you flip your tassel. No one has benefited from your actions as of yet. You are nothing more than a person that has yet to prove yourself of any worth to anyone. You are a bum. What you do from there is the only thing that will matter to society.
Fred wrote me a letter that reminded me of these values we have and what I like about the USA.
"Ryan:
I agreed with you totally about Mei Li. She and a lot of other Asians, especially back to the original countries where they came from, judged people differently from American way. They like to judge people based on their social status, school they went, and their family tree, etc, like old times in India and England. But in US, we judge people based on their knowledge, character no matter where you came from.
Anyway, that's why I like to stay in US and work with American instead of Asian's society. It is weird that I am a Asian and I don't like the Asian's attitude at all. May be I have been in US too long, much longer than in Taiwan where I grew up.
Fred"
tl;dr: In the US, there is a culture that says 'we don't care what your race is, or what pricey college you came from. We judge people on character and accomplishments.'
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