DMT - The Game Changer
McNUGG3T
Published
08/13/2013
I
never planned on actually typing this out, and definitely didn't think I
would ever post it here. Fuck it. This is the most life changing event
I've ever gone through, and I want to share it with all of you. I hope
you'll actually read it.
...
I will never be able to tell you how real it all was for me. A lot of people will say it was your brain playing tricks on you, or that I was just on psychedelics and none of it was real, but it was. To me, it was as real as anything else Iâve ever done. Iâd like to say that it was all just in my head and that it never actually happened, but it did. It was an experience Iâll never be able to erase from memory, and Iâm a better person for having gone through it. I wonder if Iâll ever really know the significance of it all, and Iâve tried to understand exactly what was being communicated to me, but it doesnât matter. I was there to have that experience exactly the way it happened. What it did show me, however, is that we are always there. Wherever that place is, or whatever it is, we are always there. We have always been there and we always will be. Iâve never really been a religious or spiritual person, and âgodâ was always a false concept to me, but everything that happened that day completely changed the way I look at things. There is no god like youâve read about in some book, judging you until you die. God is all of us. God is the universe observing itself objectively through us. I could go on for hours about what I think, but Iâm not going to do that.
To shorten this up, here's some back story...
A lot of you may already know this about me, but I recently smoked DMT and it legitimately changed my life. It was the most profound experience I've ever had, and by far the most humbling. It's a long read, but I've been wanting to share this for a while now, so I hope youâll continue on. To my friends and family who don't know about dimethyltryptamine, you might want to do some research before you assume that this is just some drug that you take for fun. It is not recreational. It is not a âparty drugâ. It is a hormone in all of our bodies that we create naturally. Probably the best place to start is âDMT: The Spirit Moleculeâ. Itâs on Netflix and it definitely gets the point across, but Youtube is another great place for information if youâre interested. Terence McKenna is a phenomenal speaker on the subject. Regardless, you should probably study if there is going to be a test. I donât claim to be a writer, this is just me putting my thoughts on paper. Minor details may have been changed a bit out of respect for the others who have done this with me, but this is my story. Anyway, here goes...
I had been doing research on DMT for a while, but had no idea where to even begin looking for it. A good friend introduced me to his cousin that had been living out of the area for a while and had just moved back home. We started talking about it and he told me that he'd made it himself and done it 20+ times. He then asked me if I would like to help him make it with him. Obviously, I was more than fine with this. It was the only real way of knowing that it was actually DMT, and I wouldn't have to buy it from some shady character my friends might know. Anyway... after the extraction process, we had more DMT than we would probably ever need to smoke on our own. It was time. My friend, his cousin, and myself began our journeys...
My first trip was like dipping your toes in the water. I really didn't know what to expect, and I think in all honesty that I expected way too much. For all future reference, don't expect anything at all. "Let the trip take you." I know it sounds corny, but it couldn't be more true. I hit the pipe and was immediately disoriented to the point where the floor and walls weren't above or below me, they were just everywhere. The smoke was extremely harsh and tasted like rubber. I had no fucking clue how to react to all of this and just sort of took it all in as I faded in and out of this weird dreamlike state. It probably lasted about 5 or 6 minutes and was really quite mild compared to what was about to happen later that night. I thought it was great, but it was nothing like what I had heard about it. No weird sentient beings, no crazy visuals, just an overwhelming feeling of love. I really did enjoy that trip, but it was nothing like all those crazy hippies in the documentaries talk about.
So, we took an intermission and just sort of discussed what was happening. He explained the entire "let the trip take you" philosophy, and I did quite a bit of meditating before the next round. Now we're ready to try this again, and instead of the pipe, we put it in the vaporizer. I let the two experienced trippers take their hits and blast off. I didn't want any outside influence on this one anyway. After they passed out, I started hitting the vaporizer. It was much smoother than smoking it out of the pipe and that definitely makes the trip a lot easier on you. As I was hitting it, I realized that the hose had turned into a glass rod that extended through the entire universe and back to the other side. When it came back around and touched my scalp, I popped. That was it. I was no longer a human being.
Where you're at when this happens can best be described as hyperspace. The only way that I've been able to explain it is as follows. I became everything that ever has, ever will, or ever could exist. Simultaneously. Time is completely irrelevant, so to say how long I was "gone" just wouldn't do it any justice. It felt like fucking eternity. Like billions and billions of years. Fucking forever. I was gone forever. The only problem is that you aren't "you" anymore. You're literally everything the universe has ever created. After being there for an infinite amount of time, I finally started to drift back into consciousness. This is where it got all "life changing" and shit.
Alright, so I'm basically falling back into my own body at this point. Both of the guys that were there are still passed out in their chairs, the TV is on, nothing out of the ordinary. Okay, cool. I'm coming back now. As I finally make my way back into the physical world, it hits me. I'm fucking terrified and saddened by what I see and feel. We have all just commit suicide together. Our wrists are cut to the bone and we're bleeding out. Those guys are no longer conscious, and I'm fading away myself. I could fucking feel it. I had pissed and shit my pants, I was covered in blood, and the 911 operator was audible from my cellphone that had fallen on the floor. This is it. I'm fucking dying.
Never would I have expected it to end like this. Truly disappointing. It was awful. I just sat there knowing that I was dying and that suicide was how we'd just experienced everything that had happened. All I could do was sit in my own bodily fluids and wait for death. It was inevitable at this point and I just accepted it. I hated it. I did not want to die. I had just experienced what it truly is to be alive, and now I'm going to die.
And so, I sat there. Dying. I had a million thoughts running through my head. People I'm going to miss, all the things I wish I hadn't done, all the things I should have done, and mostly, where was I about to go? I started to think more about it, and I realized... holy shit... I'm already dead. I'm not sitting in this chair at all, I'm just dead now. I no longer had a body and was immediately thrown into that infinite void I had been in before. It was the first part of the trip all over again.
So, again, I was gone for eternity. An infinite amount of time passes as you reach a perfect balance. If the first trip had an overwhelming sense of love, this trip WAS love. I had just died and gone back to this unworldly state of becoming everything. One thing I will bring back with me, is that you are always there. At all times, your consciousness or soul or whatever you are, it's there. You will never leave that place and you will never travel there either. You ARE that place. Impossible to comprehend, I know, but I cannot deny it.
I remained in that state of perfect zen for longer than I could ever know. And like I said, I'm still there. I wish I knew more about how it happens, but the area between there and here is hard to describe. It was like I instinctively knew it was time to go back. Even though I had died, and had even come to terms with my own death, I was starting to become "me" again. Maybe I hadn't actually died...
Finally... Whatever the fuck had just happened was starting to fade. I was back in my chair again. TV still on, two guys passed out in the same room, but I'm alive this time. Alive is the only way to tell you how I felt. I looked at the clock as I regained my vision. I had been gone for a little more than 10 minutes. I turned to look at my friends and they were both looking at me with the biggest smiles I've ever seen in my life.
âWelcome back.â
...
I will never be able to tell you how real it all was for me. A lot of people will say it was your brain playing tricks on you, or that I was just on psychedelics and none of it was real, but it was. To me, it was as real as anything else Iâve ever done. Iâd like to say that it was all just in my head and that it never actually happened, but it did. It was an experience Iâll never be able to erase from memory, and Iâm a better person for having gone through it. I wonder if Iâll ever really know the significance of it all, and Iâve tried to understand exactly what was being communicated to me, but it doesnât matter. I was there to have that experience exactly the way it happened. What it did show me, however, is that we are always there. Wherever that place is, or whatever it is, we are always there. We have always been there and we always will be. Iâve never really been a religious or spiritual person, and âgodâ was always a false concept to me, but everything that happened that day completely changed the way I look at things. There is no god like youâve read about in some book, judging you until you die. God is all of us. God is the universe observing itself objectively through us. I could go on for hours about what I think, but Iâm not going to do that.
To shorten this up, here's some back story...
A lot of you may already know this about me, but I recently smoked DMT and it legitimately changed my life. It was the most profound experience I've ever had, and by far the most humbling. It's a long read, but I've been wanting to share this for a while now, so I hope youâll continue on. To my friends and family who don't know about dimethyltryptamine, you might want to do some research before you assume that this is just some drug that you take for fun. It is not recreational. It is not a âparty drugâ. It is a hormone in all of our bodies that we create naturally. Probably the best place to start is âDMT: The Spirit Moleculeâ. Itâs on Netflix and it definitely gets the point across, but Youtube is another great place for information if youâre interested. Terence McKenna is a phenomenal speaker on the subject. Regardless, you should probably study if there is going to be a test. I donât claim to be a writer, this is just me putting my thoughts on paper. Minor details may have been changed a bit out of respect for the others who have done this with me, but this is my story. Anyway, here goes...
I had been doing research on DMT for a while, but had no idea where to even begin looking for it. A good friend introduced me to his cousin that had been living out of the area for a while and had just moved back home. We started talking about it and he told me that he'd made it himself and done it 20+ times. He then asked me if I would like to help him make it with him. Obviously, I was more than fine with this. It was the only real way of knowing that it was actually DMT, and I wouldn't have to buy it from some shady character my friends might know. Anyway... after the extraction process, we had more DMT than we would probably ever need to smoke on our own. It was time. My friend, his cousin, and myself began our journeys...
My first trip was like dipping your toes in the water. I really didn't know what to expect, and I think in all honesty that I expected way too much. For all future reference, don't expect anything at all. "Let the trip take you." I know it sounds corny, but it couldn't be more true. I hit the pipe and was immediately disoriented to the point where the floor and walls weren't above or below me, they were just everywhere. The smoke was extremely harsh and tasted like rubber. I had no fucking clue how to react to all of this and just sort of took it all in as I faded in and out of this weird dreamlike state. It probably lasted about 5 or 6 minutes and was really quite mild compared to what was about to happen later that night. I thought it was great, but it was nothing like what I had heard about it. No weird sentient beings, no crazy visuals, just an overwhelming feeling of love. I really did enjoy that trip, but it was nothing like all those crazy hippies in the documentaries talk about.
So, we took an intermission and just sort of discussed what was happening. He explained the entire "let the trip take you" philosophy, and I did quite a bit of meditating before the next round. Now we're ready to try this again, and instead of the pipe, we put it in the vaporizer. I let the two experienced trippers take their hits and blast off. I didn't want any outside influence on this one anyway. After they passed out, I started hitting the vaporizer. It was much smoother than smoking it out of the pipe and that definitely makes the trip a lot easier on you. As I was hitting it, I realized that the hose had turned into a glass rod that extended through the entire universe and back to the other side. When it came back around and touched my scalp, I popped. That was it. I was no longer a human being.
Where you're at when this happens can best be described as hyperspace. The only way that I've been able to explain it is as follows. I became everything that ever has, ever will, or ever could exist. Simultaneously. Time is completely irrelevant, so to say how long I was "gone" just wouldn't do it any justice. It felt like fucking eternity. Like billions and billions of years. Fucking forever. I was gone forever. The only problem is that you aren't "you" anymore. You're literally everything the universe has ever created. After being there for an infinite amount of time, I finally started to drift back into consciousness. This is where it got all "life changing" and shit.
Alright, so I'm basically falling back into my own body at this point. Both of the guys that were there are still passed out in their chairs, the TV is on, nothing out of the ordinary. Okay, cool. I'm coming back now. As I finally make my way back into the physical world, it hits me. I'm fucking terrified and saddened by what I see and feel. We have all just commit suicide together. Our wrists are cut to the bone and we're bleeding out. Those guys are no longer conscious, and I'm fading away myself. I could fucking feel it. I had pissed and shit my pants, I was covered in blood, and the 911 operator was audible from my cellphone that had fallen on the floor. This is it. I'm fucking dying.
Never would I have expected it to end like this. Truly disappointing. It was awful. I just sat there knowing that I was dying and that suicide was how we'd just experienced everything that had happened. All I could do was sit in my own bodily fluids and wait for death. It was inevitable at this point and I just accepted it. I hated it. I did not want to die. I had just experienced what it truly is to be alive, and now I'm going to die.
And so, I sat there. Dying. I had a million thoughts running through my head. People I'm going to miss, all the things I wish I hadn't done, all the things I should have done, and mostly, where was I about to go? I started to think more about it, and I realized... holy shit... I'm already dead. I'm not sitting in this chair at all, I'm just dead now. I no longer had a body and was immediately thrown into that infinite void I had been in before. It was the first part of the trip all over again.
So, again, I was gone for eternity. An infinite amount of time passes as you reach a perfect balance. If the first trip had an overwhelming sense of love, this trip WAS love. I had just died and gone back to this unworldly state of becoming everything. One thing I will bring back with me, is that you are always there. At all times, your consciousness or soul or whatever you are, it's there. You will never leave that place and you will never travel there either. You ARE that place. Impossible to comprehend, I know, but I cannot deny it.
I remained in that state of perfect zen for longer than I could ever know. And like I said, I'm still there. I wish I knew more about how it happens, but the area between there and here is hard to describe. It was like I instinctively knew it was time to go back. Even though I had died, and had even come to terms with my own death, I was starting to become "me" again. Maybe I hadn't actually died...
Finally... Whatever the fuck had just happened was starting to fade. I was back in my chair again. TV still on, two guys passed out in the same room, but I'm alive this time. Alive is the only way to tell you how I felt. I looked at the clock as I regained my vision. I had been gone for a little more than 10 minutes. I turned to look at my friends and they were both looking at me with the biggest smiles I've ever seen in my life.
âWelcome back.â
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