Tokyo is a headfuck. To describe Tokyo I use the expression 'It's like being on LSD, without taking any acid'. Bright lights, millions of people, crazy customs and all set at an incredible pace.

I love it!

In Tokyo, there is a place called Roppongi. It is where all the western people go to party it up and the Japanese women come down to crack onto western men. My mate who I was travelling with and I were spending some time in a smoking area of a niteclub in the town watching people dance while we got shitfaced enough to actually join them on the dance floor.

When I went up to grab a refill at the bar on the third drink I came back to find a cute blonde American chick had sat down at our table and was chatting with my mate. Finally some conversation. It might be hard to fathom but in Japan you understand what it is like to be a minority. A white person stands out like a sore thumb and finding someone to converse in English with is always great.

Especially a cute blonde chick.

Being in a long term relationship compared to my single mate and having only been out of the country for 3 days I decided to let him use he's powers to woo this chick. No cock blocking here. But instead, the bastard got incredibly shitfaced, slurry and incomprehensible. Fearing he'd scare away a root for the night, I started to converse with her on all the bullshit that travellers talk about. Where they come from and how different the places are.

I remember she was from Arizona and explained it to me being like a desert.

I remember not giving a shit and constantly checking out her ginormous tits.

This chick was small and petite. But she had tits that could poke your eyes out from across the table.

After the flirting games had begun and the drunken 'woopsey daisies' of falling on top of each other for a cheap grope had started to kick in, my mate turns to me and says he's fucked and wants to go back to the hotel.

Being at this cross road of a dilemma sucked.

I was 3 days into a 6 week trip with my pissed as mate who I couldn't fuck over, and he wanted to go on the complete other side of the city to our hotel and right here I had a gorgeous little blonde chick 1 foot away from me wanting to get it on like there was no tomorrow

.... or so I thought.

I told the girl that I couldn't be a bastard and leave my mate to fend he's own way home. Bro's before ho's and all that jazz. She agreed and seemed to instantly palm me off for another drink at the bar as we walk down the stairs to find a cab.

GODDAMIT!

She was a slut obviously who wouldn't pester me for emails or phone numbers after a good night of screwing either. I like that in a girl.

I find a cab, spend 45 minutes driving to the other side of the city and take my mate back to the hotel and get him into bed. By this time it's around 3:30am but I'm still buzzing from booze and the adrenaline of Tokyo.

I decide to go for a walk in the cold night air to clear my head. You know those desperate things you do when you want to get laid... like walking around places you know will be deserted but you just hope to stumble across a gorgeous slut in some dark alley who will turn to you and say

"i've been waiting all night to be fucked by you”

and bust open her blouse to reveal silicone tits in penthouse forum style but instead you generally run into a bum who wants cigarettes off you who smells like dogshit and eventually after 30 minutes of boring wandering you go home and rub one out.

Well, after that monotonous walk I go back to the hotel room to bust in on my mate jerking off in the sink to porn on my computer.

'Oh sorry dude, I thought you'd be longer'.

FUCK!

I didn't want to end the night seeing my mate jerking off into the basin I brush my teeth in.

Screw it! I'm going back to Roppongi to find the slut.

Determined on my mission I storm out of the hotel and hail a cab and begin the long drive back to party central. On the way there I had a few things going through my head.

What if I couldn't find her?

What if everything is closed?

And most of all, what if I get there and she's on top of another bloke already. 

Was it to late to pick up another bird? Nearly all good pickings would already be home right now riding someone elses dick. Grrr. It was my night with Arizona slut and I knew it.

I finally get back to Roppongi and began looking around for her. She advised that she'd be in an Irish pub till 5am as she was going home with her room mate who worked in there. So I found the pub and busted in. By now it was nearly 4:30am and the place was dead.  A few English guys sinking their last pints in the corner

..... and Arizona chick on the other side chatting closely with one of their mates.

Seeing this I thought I'd fucked it, wasted my time and was about to witness my pussy going home with an English bastard cause my mate couldn't handle he's piss. But instead I watched Arizona girl show little enough interest in the pursuing Englishman for him to realize he had no chance of poontang and gave up and left.

4:30am, empty pub, drunken Arizona slut at a table by herself and one empty seat. It was like god handed me this root on a silver platter.

After a few minutes I mosey on up to the table and sit down with her making up excuses as why I was around... 'oh i never left, went to another pub, mates gone home now' ra ra ra.

I don't want her to think I rode all the way back here to find out if i can stick my dick inside her but she doesn't really care either way. Within minutes were back to groping each other and within 5 minutes were making out.

Sweet. No fucking around this time. No drunk mates. Let's take this all the way.

The bar closes and Arizona girl and her English room mate invite me to catch the train home with them.

A train? Fuck that!

Public transport is amazing in Tokyo but in Sydney it is fucking terrible. What would be a 20 minute trip in Tokyo is over an hour in Sydney and i can't help but think about that, how lazy i am and how quickly i want to screw this chicks brains out, so I told them to forget that and I'll shout them a cab.

Perfect!

Not only do they agree, but they just happen to live a 10 minute walk from my hotel. Now in a city of over 10 million people this isn't just coincidence….

this is what I like to call fuckfate!!!

We catch the cab back to their place and Arizona girl and I start doing the whole awkward 'whose gonna proposition who' thing. I can't invite her back to my hotel cause I've got drunken wanking bud in my room and I can't just invite myself up to her place. But she asks me up finally and we head in.

Explaining what Tokyo apartments are like for your average dweller is easy.

Imagine a room the size of your toilet.

Now imagine that is your living quarters.

Done.

These rooms are only small enough to contain a mattress, a pile of clothes… and if your lucky maybe a P.C. You share a bathroom, shower and kitchen area with everyone living on your floor.

The only plus side I could find is that the toilet was a Mitsubishi toilet with all these cool buttons on it that had to be pressed.

Bidetarama.

So we’re now finally settled in her room and I figure it’s time for some loving when Arizona girl decides to throw something completely out of left field at me.

‘Do you mind if we have sex when we wake up and instead now just sleep together and snuggle’

…… WTF!

What is this? I thought you were a slut! This puts everything in danger. Not only does it delay sex until after we’re both sober, hung over and lethargic, but it also ruins my great escape plan.

I never ever ever sleep at the same place as a chick after a one night stand. I’m a

‘thanks for the load blow, catch ya on the flip side……....sucker (evil laugh begins here)’

type of guy. I get in, then out, then in, then out, then in, then messily out, then pull up my pants and get out of the place as hastily as possible while come is still dripping down my leg and the chick is detained as she’s to busy cleaning my bodily fluids off her tits.

I felt like I had be jipped. But, then again, I hadn’t had sex in 4 days and wasn’t about to walk out on a sitting duck root either. I laid down on her mattress, turned my back to her and lay there thinking angrily about how even though that I wasn’t screwing her, she sure was screwing me. She ends up laying down, wrapping her arms around me and shoving her tits right into my back.

Great.

Now how am I gonna be able to sleep with that up against me.

All I can do is lay there and think

‘god, even a handjob would be satisfactory right now…….

God her tits are amazing….

I wanna suck them…......

man….

I’m so……..

zzzzzzzzzz’

and I’m out like a light.

As expected, we wake up a few hours later, hung over, tired as and bleary eyed. Before there’s even any mention of the morning bootie, she takes me out to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

Now I’m sitting in a communal kitchen with all these foreign nerds living in Japan in an apartment on the same level as a hot slut. I note the death stares start to begin. Either she’s loved em and left em or their jealous that they’ve never got any and basing it on their looks, attitudes and personalities with in that 5 minutes I would have to assume the latter. While I was in there with them it was like trying to converse with your dead grandfather. He might seem wise and dorky, but your more likely to get entertained by poking him with a stick.

Fuck this! I need a cigarette.

I go up to the roof to smoke and to also avoid the lepers below and avoid conversation with Arizona slut. Even though we hadn’t had sex, I still had that morning after vibe where you just want to avoid conversing with them for fear of finding out more of who they actually are on the inside.

I don’t think so!

I go back to the room eventually and Arizona slut is in there and she now wants to show me her ‘awesome’ laptop.

Great!

I don’t give a fuck!

From what I remember it was pretty neat but really, did she think I would pay that much attention? I’m starting to get the feeling that this was a waste of time.

‘I want to check my Flickr page’.

Oh for fucks sake!

That’s it! I’ve had enough.

I feel like I’ve been more then polite in putting up with the sleeping, the snuggling, the kitchen dorks and the laptop. But I am not gonna sit here while she surfs the net. With as much muster as a stubborn 5 year old I summon up the dreaded words all sluts don’t want to here.

“Fuck this. I came her to fuck you. Not look at Flickr. I’m going home”.

I am pissed. I turn around and grab my shoes and start putting them on. I’m hoping for a hug from behind that extends to my dick or some type of flirtacious suggestion but I get none. Next step is blatant outright action.

I stand up.

I turn around to yell at her and……..

She’s lying on the bed, spread eagled, tits flopped out from her pulled up shirt, skirt around the waist, knickers to the knee’s and she’s feeling up her tits and pussy.

Woohoo! 1 point for reverse psychology!

Now I don’t jump on her right away when I can enjoy the scenery. And what better scenery is there having a gorgeous girl lying naked on a bed playing with her enormous tits and pussy while staring at you intently.

God I wish I’d brought my camera. I don’t even have my mobile on me for pics cause it won’t work in this crazy country.

After around ten minutes of this I decide to get in on the action. We fuck. We screw. We play around. We fuck. We screw and play around some more.

And like all good men…

…..less then 5 minutes after I blow my 2^nd load on her tits,

I’m out of that building and on my way to a Tokyo McDonalds for 2 pork burgers and back to the hotel to share the story with my mate while she’s probably still cleaning up the soggy mess I left behind.

Next time: Scewing a New York Chick in Harlem