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Absolutely Awesome

Just getting off work, I was wearing my bright orange safety t-shirt, and baggy, dirty jeans that I cut off at the knee.  I smelled of sweat, grease, and rust as my husband and I made a stop at one of our good friend's house.   We owed him $50 from the week before, so we figured we'd get that out of the way while we were running other errands.  No big deal.
We pull up to the house and see him and a few of his friends having a beer on the front porch.  Our friend introduces us.   "This is my son Rob, and my daughter Bernie".   We call him "Son" too. We're not actually related, just close friends - No big deal.  "Nice to meet you" Rob says to one as he extends his hand for a brief handshake.  Next in line I attempt to do the same. 
They say you can learn a lot about someone by their handshake. I was taught; Thumb up, arm fully extended, firm grip, maintain eye contact.  It shows confidence, without inserting a sense of superiority or weakness. No big deal.
There was no eye contact as he took my hand, flipped it over, and brought it up to his mouth. After he transferred the beer on his lips to the back of my palm, he pulled my arm above our heads, as if it were obstructing his view of the rest of me.  "Ah, nice tattoos".  Although I had been covered in dirt, I hadn't wanted a shower more than that moment. The second I was alloted my limb, I wiped it off on my shirt, like it was no big deal.
He pointed to his arm and asked me if I saw it.  I did.  A tattoo of a swallow with the word "Absolutely" underneath.   He showed his crooked yellow tooth, as he raised his other arm.  "Awesome".  I let out an uncomfortable few laughs, and proceeded to follow my husband inside.   
The first eye contact he made with me was to ask me "So, what's up?" as I tried to walk around him to the front door, in order to accompany my husband inside. "Nothing much?" I replied, in a way that sounded more like a question.  My back was turned as he asked "Why are you so shy?", to which I replied "I'm not."
I'm not shy... I'm not a lot of things. Naive, stupid, gullible, attracted to old men with no teeth, etc.  But it happens all the time.  But to you I guess, it's no big deal.

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