So you're sitting in your mom's basement right now thinking about how lonely you are.   Pornography has gotten you through to near adulthood, but now you crave that certain slut in your life.   You've had a shower this week, and now you're ready to go get her!  Great!  

In this blog, I'm going to tell you the secrets most women are too bitchy to tell.  The real, sure fire way, to get laid!  I'll demonstrate why "no" really means "yes", and what she actually means when she calls you a "creep".  Adjust your boners, sit back in your chair that smells like doritos, and soak in the knowledge I'm about to share!


Shit's not like the movies anymore.  You can't just write "free candy" on the side of a windowless van, and expect that to work.   Hiding in dark alleys and bushes at night is only a waste of time you could be using to watch porn. Besides, there's only two kinds of women who are out on the streets alone at night.  Prostitutes, who you have to pay.  And joggers, who are just too fast for your fat, COD playing, ass to catch.  This is why even most pedophiles have taken to new strategies.  


To be a man, you have to have balls, aka - confidence, or in female speech - "creepiness" or "perversion". No women or girl is going to want to fuck a guy she has to approach first.   You have to approach her in a way where she knows what you want up-front.   If you don't express the desire to stick your dick in her right away, she will be clueless, and you'll end up in the friendzone, to which there is no return.


Choose your targets wisely.  Older women are great for many things.  Many of them have jobs, can cook well, and sometimes be just as attractive as their younger selves.  However, the older a girl gets, the more important she thinks her brain is.  Education is like money, the more a girl has, the more she's going to try and use it.  She's going to try and get laid with her personality, and every guy knows, it just doesn't you hard.  This is why most men target women much younger than themselves.  They know that those girls are still in that stage of life where they ride on their level of attractiveness, and therefore find it very important to look good.  They're less likely to know how to handle their booze, and require a lot less alcohol when trying to lose their inhibitions and clothing.  Once you have your target in sight, you must quickly come up with a plan of approach.  It doesn't require too much thought. 

  Cat-calling and sexual harassment are terms used to describe the most effective ways to approach a female for sex. Cat calling is really easy to do, and it can be done in a variety of ways.  First you look at what she's wearing.  It's been scientifically and mathematically proven that the more skin she shows, the more she wants to be approached for sex.  Basically the only reason she is outside is because she hasn't yet tricked a guy into knocking her up, and marrying her. If she had, she'd happily be at home cleaning some guy's house right now.  So you know she wants the dick - you just don't know how badly she wants it. So, going back to the amount of skin she's showing.  A lot of guys tend to act based on what part of her skin is showing.  I'm here to say you don't have to go by that.  For example: if she's wearing open toed shoes, she's obviously out to find a guy with a foot fetish.   Bare arms, ankles, legs, anything below the collarbone, her back, basically any skin you can see.  It's all advertisement, and it's all targeted at you.  If she's not showing much skin, don't fret.  She may have just worn tight clothing instead.  This way she can stay relatively warm, and protected from the harmful rays of the sun, but still demonstrate what she looks like naked. You can see how big her boobs are, her ass, all of the things she wants you to notice about her first. 


So now, you've gauged that random lady's eagerness to be fucked.  She's outside, looking for attention, waiting to be approached.  You're in the car with some buddies, wondering how to let this girl know that what she's doing is working.  Usually you'd walk up to her, or wait for her to walk past you.  But if you're in a car you might not have much time to tell her how you feel, so women have grown to accept abrupt yelling.  Really, we'll take any compliment we can get.   Here's a few examples of what you should say to break the ice;


- I want to know what your pussy tastes like! / I bet that pussy tastes good!This is a personal favourite of mine. When a guy says that to me, I feel like that guy is curious and considerate of my sexual needs.  I just love a guy who's willing to do foreplay - all women do.

- Damn, you look good/hot/sexy/fuckable/etc!Most women put a lot of time into looking good every morning.  Especially the pure attention whores.  They're willing to spend hours, and countless dollars every day just in the hopes that some random guy will say something like this to her.  Validating this effort is the best and easiest way to get into those pants.

- Nice ass!I love this one too.  Women have it hard when it comes to their ass. We're all very self conscious about it. Being considered a "hot pieces of ass" is not just catch all phrase.  It has real meaning to women, and is the ultimate goal in life.  It's not fair.  We have makeup to fix our face, bras to make our boobs look bigger and perkier than they are, but we don't have anything we can simply just buy to make our asses look good.  Even if she covers her ass, and you can't see the shape, you should still pay it a compliment. It's the kindest thing you can do. 

- Just whistle at her.I'm creaming my jeans right now thinking of the sweet coaxing sound of the high pitch - low pitch whistle. This one is great for guys in cars, with pussy drivers that won't slow down long enough for you to yell any of the previous compliment examples. 


Unfortunately, you might not get a reaction right away.  A lot guys assume it's because she's a bitch, and is just ignoring the compliments you were nice enough to tell her.  Truth is, it's one of two scenarios.  In some rare occasions, your compliments were so nice, you've rendered her speechless, or she just thinks it's too good to be true, and therefore thinks she's gone schizophrenic with (sexy) voices in her head.  Or the more common scenario occurs, where she simply can't hear you.  Sometimes we wear these ridiculous earrings that have shit dangling off them. (They make us look like prostitutes and attention whores, so we wear them as much as possible) When we walk all that dangly junk makes noise, and we sometimes can't hear you over top of that.   So, you're not just yelling random compliments at girls to impress your buddies, and really do want to fuck her,  you have to make sure she can hear you. 


What I suggest is getting louder, closer, even blocking her way of travel, making it as easy as possible for her to notice you and your intentions.  Repeat what you've said a few times, and once you have her attention, continue with the compliments so she knows that it was you, and not another strange man.  Making her feel guilty at this point will be to your favor.   Ask her "What? You don't know what fucking compliment sounds like?"  or  say "you're not going to get fucked with that attitude".   She will instantly feel sorry for you (and herself), and at the very least, will want you to continue complimenting her, making sure to pay attention this time.  At this point, you've officially broken the ice, if not, gotten laid by now. 


Now it's time for the actual conversation part.  Some women are really just bitches.  They think that because they put the time into looking sexy, that you should also have to spend time attracting her to you sexually, even though she already wants your dick.  It's bullshit, I know. Don't take offense, nothing a female says or thinks is relevant, especially in these situations.  Just keep in mind the whole time, that she wants to fuck you, and that's the only reason she got up and went outside that day.  Don't even pay attention when she tells you her name.  You're not trying to fuck her name.  Do you care what a porn star's name is?  Fuck! If their names were relevant, they wouldn't use fake ones.  Besides, you're going to want to fuck a lot of girls in your life, and keeping track of all of the names, is not only impossible, but a waste of brain cells.  Just do what real men do, call every attractive women "Baby Girl".   Or get creative;  Girl, Hot Momma, Sweetie, Hun, doesn't matter.


Of course, compliments aren't always fail proof. Some women come up with rebuttals in an attempt to make men work harder for sex. (Bitches)  Here's a list of some of the more common rebuttals women give, and what you should respond with.


- "I have a boyfriend"This is bullshit.  Think about it - if you were her boyfriend, would you let her be an attention whore outside? Doubtful.  No like minded man would.  She would be too busy cleaning, making sandwiches and mostly fucking you, to go outside - let alone for attention. So to this I would give one of the following responses:
"Where is he? Why isn't he with you? I would be if you were my girlfriend"
"I have a bigger dick than him - guaranteed."
"He's probably cheating on you right now - you should cheat on him to get back at him for it"
"What he doesn't know, won't hurt him".  


- "Fuck you!" To which you respond:"Yes please!"


- "Fuck off!" To which you respond:"Fuck on, you get better results!"


- "I'm a lesbian"To which you respond: "Great, I love threesomes!"



- "Not interested!"To which you respond: "You don't know what you're missing!"



If you're not already fucking the broad at this point, it's apparent the bitch is just stupid.  Some people have a hard time learning through verbal instruction.   Take kids and dogs for example.  If they don't do what they're told, you beat them, and then they know what to do.  It's how they learn.  It's the same for women.  If she's not getting the hint through the compliments, you have to escalate to physical demonstration.  Try lightly touching her leg, or face, or rub her arm, go in for a kiss on the neck, grab her ass, you know, shit like that.  If she tries to pull away, it's just because she's still confused with what's going on.  Continue, maybe try and slip a hand under her shirt, or skirt if she's wearing one, because eventually she will catch on, and will begin to participate and engage in the sexual activities.  While confused, she might show a little fear, so always console her by telling her how beautiful she is, and how good her hair smells.  In a calm voice, remind her to smile.  Tell her that she's prettier when she does, and that she should be grateful that you want to fuck her.



If all else fails, just force yourself on her.  If you pick your targets right, they'll be too small and weak to fight back.  Some people might call that rape, but they don't know what rape is.   Rape is only when you break into her house at night, and fuck her at knife or gun point.  It's not as fun, because the cops get involved, and you have to plan it so far in advance.  As soon as she willingly goes anywhere with you, or if she's drunk, or is showing cleavage, it's not rape. If she accuses you of it, most people will end up blaming her, if they believe her at all.  In most cases people will just assume she asked for it, and only just regrets it now that people call her a slut for it.  This aspect of our culture usually prevents girls from reporting this sort of thing anyway, so really, it's a free buffet out there.