DMT and the Creation Diety
'Holy fucking shit' is right Maynard, if you haven't heard Tool's 'Rosetta Stoned' and its hilarious take on DMT, check it out. if you don't like their music, look up the lyrics, its worth a read.
but yeah, wow, just wow. at 22 years young I've taken at least 40 hits of acid, had 12hr+ peaks that I thought wouldn't end at times, and I've eaten at least a pound of mushrooms, which recently last year I ate what Terrence McKenna would call a 'heroic dose', and had what was my supreme psychedelic moment when I felt I reached Nirvana for a few minutes before I threw up and remembered it all only later as if it was a lucid dream. but today was something else.
I had read some interesting and amazing stories here before about DMT, and I was always insanely intrigued, but until a couple of years ago after visiting to the bay area in Oakland had I ever met anyone who could get it, as I grew up in Nevada and even in high school I got my acid from people from SF. I've had the free time, I've been able to exorcize what I call 'the psychic demons' from my mind; what I believe is responsible for most of the bad trips and psychedelic blockages that keep us from true experiences. I've had the help of some of the best acid I've ever taken along that path as well, and each time I've felt myself getting closer and closer to some greater understanding.
There is a fantastic cemetery off of Piedmont in Oakland that I highly suggest for anyone thats in the area. amazing views, beautiful gothic statues and mausoleums, winding paths and a great view of the sunrise over the hills. my buddy and I headed up there today, and I was skeptical as I had smoked DMT with him twice in the last few months and not gotten more than an accelerated heartbeat and a deafening ringing sound in my head. today it happened again during the first attempt, he loaded me a bowl and I took a hit, held it in, and the ringing and pulsing began. I rose and rose, but then it just subsided.
He loaded himself some and took a few hits and looked like he was having an experience, so I watched him and when he came back to I asked if it was still hitting, I took another hit and gagged a bit as it seemed cashed. he was still tripping a bit, so I meditated to see if I could tap into what energy I could feel inside of me. I saw a little bit of patterns as I closed my eyes, but nothing spectacular. with my eyes open I couldn't discern any hallucinatory difference in the world around me.
when my friend came back from his trip he asked me how it was and I explained that I hadn't really felt anything that great, but that I was intrigued because I could feel that there was something more to it. he was disappointed and said 'dammit you're gonna trip!' he then loaded a generous dose into the pipe and I asked if I could try taking three good hits, as that was what I had heard was the recommended dose, he said 'go for it.' I see now why they say, 'get to the third toke, it's worth it.' the first two hits made me want to gag, but I held them in the best I could, then the third one was the toughest to hold, but as soon as I let it go I could feel a rush of energy throughout my whole body. then I closed my eyes.
I can't say that its that I can't remember much of the transition, or if it was so fast that I missed it, but my mind was definitely somewhere else. there was an explosion of geometric but artistic patterns throughout my consciousness, I felt as if the collective unconscious was flowing in and through my body as if I was being atomically filtrated by a waterfall of beauty. as I began to discern what I was seeing, I made out what looked like a sentient column of flowing light, it seemed to be dancing as waves of patterns and beams of light flowed out of it. as I watched it, I came under the understanding that what I was seeing was some entity', and as I realized this inference it became apparent, it became clear, that it was true. as I thought this, the column reciprocated a feeling of gratitude I had that I had that it had finally happened, as I began to revere it as an entity, a deity even, it expressed a thankfulness and pride in my company, as it began to blow the lid off of my mind through a brilliant display of light and colored patterns.
The more I was blown away, the more intricate and engulfing the visual experience was (again this is all with my eyes closed, very key). it seemed as if the deity was delighted to put on a show for me, bathing me in beauty; a musical metaphor for the light show would have the deity being both the composer and all the musicians and instruments of the orchestra at once, with an almost Bob Ross-like joviality to its tone. when I moved the head of my physical body, I was able to look around the space of the visual, and the deity would follow my field of view, showering me with light from all around, the colors changing as my closed eyes go from the shadows into the afternoon sun.
Sometimes I like to experiment with closing one eye and slowly opening another, or squinting to blur vision with eyelash distortion, this proved serendipitous as ever in my experience today. as the light show reached a peak, I began to open my left eye, keeping my right eye shut. the deity then took this opportunity to solidify its identity; as it showed me that just in the same way that it created all the patterns, shapes and lights that I was seeing, it created our world, as the deity seemed to reach from the field of vision in my closed right eye, into my visual perception of the cemetery and the houses in the Oakland hills, and all the lights and shapes fell into their place in the hillside.
As I opened my eyes with my polarized glasses on, I saw the world as a beautiful painting made up of the same patterns and shapes I saw with my eyes closed. I closed my eyes again and the deity seemed to step aside, allowing my own imagination to begin to create my own patterns and images. a thought resonated within me, that I had been shown what I had long been told, the Hindu statement that 'in our Atman being a shell that encloses a piece of Brahman, and us finding our dharma in life, we are our own little piece of god playing our part in the consciousness of the universe.' I am my own little piece of creation, from which I can create my own beauty through my experience of life. I believed it before, but I had never SEEN it, today I was shown, and now I get it, I think.
'the beauty of the universe lay not in the stars figured into it, but it the music and art created by human minds, human voices, and human hands.'