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THE LAWS OF LIFE

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to go to the bathroom. 


&  Law of the Workshop 
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

&  Law of Probability 
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 


& Law of the Telephone 
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


&  Law of the Alibi 
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had aflat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.


&  Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
 

&  Law of the Bath 
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.


&  Law of Close Encounters 
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 


&  Law of the Result 
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

&  Law of Biomechanics 
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 


&  Law of the Theater 
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.


&  Law of Coffee 
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 


&  Murphy's Law of Lockers 
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 


&  Law of Rugs/Carpets 
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. 


&  Law of Location 
No matter where you go, there you are.
 

Law of Logical Argument 
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law 
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
 
& Oliver's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it (this one is true every time).
& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
 

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