1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn

the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming,

of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,

reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back

down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection

(lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will

somehow 'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for

one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept

onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he

finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the

"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort

to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose

sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want

fresh ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number

and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog

presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always

letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when

you're only six inches away.