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Signature Steps and Dances I See at My Job

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I have been DJing for the about the past decade now & after countless hours observing people shake their ass, I have decided to log a couple of the dances I see the most.

1.The great shrinking wall: Explanation: When 3 or more girls are dancing w/ eachother only to be harassed by a unwanted intruder (always male) They form a inner circle w/ their backs turned to the intruder who helplessly tries to jump in only to be stuck popping his head over their shoulders (as if they can't see you)

2. The creeper. Explanation: Ladies... have you ever been dancing & then BAM all of a sudden you feel someone behind you? How did he get there? How come your friends didn't warn you? Why is there a strange man behind you, hmm... U never saw it coming This move is usually executed by pros who have no or little fear of rejection. I've seen it work, but only about 10% of the time.

3. The goofball. Explanation: WTF is that guy doing?? More importantly why are chicks willing to dance w/ him? This guy ( and yes it's always a guy ) is having a seizure in his Vans. He is usually @ the club super early & chicks don't feel threatened by him. He usually request some bullshit like "Bust a Move" & can be found on the dancefloor only before the G'z show up.

4. The Gangsta head nod. Explanation: These cats don't dance period! The most movement you will get from them is a head nod to the BG homie when it's time for another round of Henny. Usually roll in packs & won't ever drink anything that I see some of these frat guys do. Yep, that Adios Muthafucker you just ordered w/ the cherries in it just disqualified u from this group pimp! I don't care if it was on special.

5. The suburb shuffle... Explanation: Mostly confused w/ the crip walk. That Abercrombie & Fitch gear & trucker hat u got on does not mix with this dance. It's kind of like asking me to play 80's in the middle of a hip hop mix... you better go some where w/ that shit dogg, Brad or Chad or whatever the call you over @ Frat house.

6. The dookie: Explanation: This is a feeble attempt @ "dropping it" as we call it. When a female squats down & kind of rocks back & forth. In their mind, they believe they are dropin' that ass to tha flo... In reality it looks more like your taking a dookie in your capri's. Usually attempted while "Ms. New Booty" or "Drop It Like It's Hot" is playing.

This concludes my current observation of moves I've seen on a Friday night basis. If I missed any feel free to comment & add your submission. -Cannon

 

HandCannon Uploaded 09/12/2008
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