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Roommate Sex

To help appease Bluenote this is a quick blog that has nothing to do with politics.   This is one of those “bitch about stupid meaningless shit in my life” blogs that no one really cares about. You know the type, like when teenage girls think the insipid details of their lives are so interesting that they merit a blog on EBW wasting our time.  So, without further adieu…

 

My roommate is fucking some loser.

 

Here’s the deal.  I moved in with my roommate 6 weeks ago to save money and live in a nicer part of the city.  My roommate is in her late 20’s and she needed a roommate because her boyfriend of 2 years dumped her and moved out.  She was stuck with the house and needed someone to move in and help pay for the living expenses.  Win-win situation, she gets to stay here, I get to save some extra cash and live in the best part of the city.

 

After I move in I find out that she’s on anti-depressants when I find an Rx bottle laying out one day.  I asked her about it and she said she was still “recovering” from her break up with her dude 3 months ago.  Whatever.

 

She’s not unattractive.  When I moved in my friends that were helping me were like, “Holy shit dude, you need to tap that.”   Let me make this clear.  #1.  You never want to shit where you eat.  #2.  If she’s on meds, no fucking way.  I’m just stating that she would have no problem finding a guy as far as physical appearance is concerned.

 

The Friday before last, I went to work at the bar at around 10 o’clock.  The bar was closed because a car hit a telephone pole and knocked out the power on the street where the club was, so I got out of work that night.  When I got home my roommate was there with one of her friends.  We started drinking and hanging out, and I was flirting with her friend.  My roommate got shit faced and went to go pass out.  I went to bed too, and her friend came with me.  So yeah, I fucked her friend last weekend.

 

Yesterday, I come home from a gig, and I only have a few minutes to change before I go to work.  I run into this random dude in the living room who is a little skuzz-bag.  He was a little short fat dude with janky teeth and smelled like shit.  He had on a jersey of some kind and a hat cocked sideways (he’s white btw).  He was one of those guys that thinks he’s some kind of badass thug but really he’s just a poser.  He’s the poster boy for the people I do not let into my club.  She introduces me, I forgot his name in 30 seconds and went to work.  I came back at 3 am and gangster boy’s shoes are still by the front door.  I walk by my roommates room on the way to mine and the door is closed.  Ewwwww.

 

No big deal.  I guess we all get desperate sometimes.  I can think of a few I’m not too proud of.  But this is what pissed me off….

 

A couple of hours ago I’m sprawled out on the couch in the living room, watching a show on the History channel about the universe.  My roommate comes downstairs wearing a skimpy night gown and says some shit to me but I’m not really listening because I’m focused on how time and space are interwoven and gravity is caused by matter bending the space-time continuum.  Anyway, she goes back upstairs to bed, and I keep watching TV.  An hour later, skuzz-bucket comes walking in like he fucking owns the place.  Doesn’t knock, doesn’t ring the doorbell, just walks in.  Even though I was listening to my roommate, I’m 100% sure she didn’t say anything about dick-lick coming over.

 

The guy walks in and sees me laying on the couch.  Now he’s interrupting the part about Hubble discovering the expansion of the universe, so I’m even more pissed off.  Apparently this guy wants to make me feel awkward because he walks in the living room and just stands there like an idiot.  Finally I was like, “Dude, she’s upstairs, in her room, I think she went to bed an hour ago.”  He was like, “oh, ok.”  These he waddles his fat skanky ass up the stairs.

 

There are three possible conclusions I can draw from all this.

 

1.     She’s pissed at me for fucking her friend last weekend and causing some fucking loser to hang around here all weekend.  (Least likely)

2.     She’s whoring herself out for extra cash.

3.     She’s super fucking desperate for some action.

 

I don’t know, if you made it this far in my blog, I’m sorry.  Meanwhile, I’m turning on the fan in my room so I don’t hear any nasty sex noises.

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