Sex and Cramps
The funniest thing happened to me the other night, although I didn't think it was so funny at the time.
I was having sex with my wife, and we were really going at it. I had had a couple of drinks prior, so my stamina was of a premium level. We were engaging in various positions and tempos. It was getting better and better and I knew the glorious end was approaching. That's when it happened. I got the most excruciatingly painful cramp in my left ass cheek. The problem was that I was past the point of no return. There was NO WAY I was stopping.
So here I am still pounding away screaming in pain with every thrust, and my wife is mistaking every screech of agony for lusty screams of pleasure. The louder I would scream in pain, the louder she'd respond with pleasure:
Me: "AAAAHHH!!!! FUCK!!!!"
Wife: "OH, FUCK YEAH!!!!"
Me: "Jesus Fucking Christ!!!!"
Wife: "Oh god!!! YES!! YES!!!!"
Me: "I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!"
Wife: "ME TOO!!! OH GOD!!!"
Me: "No!! I need to finish!!!"
Wife: "Oh YES!!! I'm already there!!!"
When it was over, It took no more than a second for her to realize that I was in immense pain, as I was still screaming and clutching my ass.
As she was massaging the cramp out of my ass cheek, it dawned on her as to what just happened.
We laughed so much that I was surprised we didn't piss ourselves.